Too Good To Be True
by Jemmasgiirl
Summary: J/E. My thoughts on how SECRETS should of been,no STD! The school is casting a play after the school shooting, Emma is lead girl, and Sully is Dracula, but during a rehearsal, he's missing, Jay is forced to jump in for a quick reading and just kiss Emma, no big deal! Lie. It's turned into the biggest deal Jay's ever had to face, he may have liked Emma all along, and now it's more.
1. Kiss The Girl

"Emma, step to the left, Sully say your line louder please." Jt said, rubbing inbetween his eyes like this was hard work.

Emma rolled her eyes and took a step aside as Sully cleared his throat, "My dear bride, I just want one kiss-"

As he spoke Emma's eyes darted around the room boredly. She was the star of the school play, probably just a pity give away, since she did have a gun pointed at her head a few weeks ago.

Emma heard talking over Sully, which was pissing off Liberty and JT but they wouldn't say anything, because the people talking by the side of the stage scared them.

Jay, Alex and Amy. Alex stood by Jay, looking proud of him even though he was only taking a hammer to a nail against a wooden stick. Emma rolled her eyes, what a hero. She watched him closer though, when they took Sean home to Wasaga the other week, Jay seemed a little.. different, they didn't even fight that much on the trip.

Jay caught her looking and his face hardened, Emma looked away dully, as if to show she wasn't afraid of him like the others, and she looked back at Sully who was coughing during his line like a maniac.

"Someone get him some water." Liberty said in annoyance.

Some little freshmen ran to get him some as the bell rang. Emma grabbed her bag and slipped her script book inside, thank god! She really didn't feel like kissing Sully while he was developing strep throat.

Before she went down the stairs Jt hollered to everyone, "Everyone please practice, we got two more weeks til the play!"

Emma hit the last step and looked up to see Jay once again, looking at her from a far and she gave him a weary look and left.

Beside Jay, Alex looked at him and saw him looking at something, but he coughed lightly and chuckled at whatever Amy was saying, which wasn't even funny, she was listening too. She eyed Jay and looked around. Who was he looking at? With such a creptic look on his face..

Emma sighed walking down the school hallway, she looked up to see Manny leaning on her locker with her bag on her waist and grinning her dimples dug so deeply in.

Manny giggled madly, "You get to kiss Sully for the play?!" she nudged Emma, "I myself can personally tell you he's a great kisser."

"Who'd wana kiss you?" came a bitter snicker and Alex came to view between passing students, Amy beside her and Jay walking behind.

Jay looked Emma up and down as Emma narrowed her eyes at them.

Amy seemed to go into thought, "Other than Sean..." she muttered out loud and blinked, pointing out quickly, "But he's out of the picture so doesn't count.."

Emma rolled her eyes and so did Alex, being proofed wrong by her own friend whose suppose to be on her side.

Alex snapped at her, "Shut up, Amy." She scoffed and walked off, shoving between Emma and Manny.

Manny taunted loudly, "Manners would be nice!" she bellowed as Jay passed them, giving her a wierd look and Emma a longer look before leaving.

Emma looked over her shoulder watching just Jay turn and shook her head.

Manny had to ask, "What's with Jay? Not even a mean comment today? Just _rude _stares?" she crossed her arms, he's been doing it all week.

"I think he's a bit off without his boyfriend." Emma joked about Sean.

Manny laughed, "Please, he doesn't have feelings, above all, missing someone." She informs and asked Emma softly, "How are you taking Sean's leaving?"

"I told you." Emma shrugged, beginning to walk out of school, "Me and Sean actually had a good heart to heart, we went through something dramatic, cleared the air between us, we've moved on and said our sorry's. I'll miss him though."

Manny nodded, agreeing, "It's wierd not having him around even though he's one of _them_ now, but we have known him since ever."

"He'll be better in Wasaga, he looked like he was going off the deep end." Emma said, having a flash of Rick with a gun go through her head, she took a deep shakey breath.

Manny softened, "How are you doing?"

Emma stared down and shrugged slowly, "I'm waiting to see if I'm actually okay or I'm just lying to myself." She admitted.

Manny pouted a bit and then the announcements with Raditch's voice came on the speakers, "Just want to remind everyone to have a safe and happy weekend, maybe take a moment of silence like last weekend to remember the tragedy of this year."

"This year? Happened a month ago.." Emma muttered, not liking the fact it was almost like a brush off, something so terrible.

"Let's go." Manny insisted, grabbing her arm and leading her out.

That following Monday after the weekend, some kids were missing, a fever and some flu's going around the school, and some other kids partying too hard on weekend just didn't show up, specially since outside was storming with rain and thunder.

Jt snapped, "Lights, action!" he breathed happily, grinning like an idiot as those on the stage set up.

Jay was building a prop of the play for extra credit, he could use some..being a bit of a skipper and trouble maker.

You know, making that whole shooting happen and all, but that was his and Spinner's little secret. Spinner was another person missing today, that guy was taking it deeply hard, must of been because the one shot was Jimmy, a personal friend, the way Jay looked at it right now though, it was done, and it was Rick he chose his fate.. though yes, he did feel upset about what he did sometimes but him and Alex were trying to move on.

"Wait!" came Libertys ubrupt yell, startling everyone, even Jay who looked up from screwing something into his prop.

"Where's Sully?" huffed JT.

Emma boredly leaned on the curtains wall, as Liberty nodded, "Exactly."

"He's gone!?" Jt freaked out, "My lead is gone?"

"Everyones sick dude." Danny informed, standing on the stage with Manny dressed as peasents.

Manny nodded giving JT a look, "Look around you, almost everyone is." She said.

Jt pierced his lips together hard and madly to shut his eyes, "fiiiine." He sighed. He was acting like an actual movie director.

Manny peeked a look at Emma and they shared a small giggle.

"Jay." Jt said after a slight nervous cough.

They all looked over, plus three other students standing in the room, they all looked pretty damn shocked he was going over to the resident bad ass, even Jay blinked and looked up, he seemed a bit annoyed.

Jt swallowed hard and laughed shakingly, "How would you like me to let Raditch know how good of a boy you've been being!?" he said as if Jay was a puppy.

Jay sat up from where he sat, hammering, and held the hammer hard as he stood tall over JT, glaring down.

Jt squeeked and put his hands up in defense, "I just met if you helped me with a little something, I'll tell him how much you've built, how less trouble you've been causing and whatever you want me to tell him."

Jay eyed the little squirt harder, "What's the deal?" his deep voice rumbled.

Jt looked up at the guy who bullied him all through highschool and snuck a glance at the school stage and back at Jay, Jay raised an eyebrow.

"Well.. Sully is sick and..we need..." he drifted off when Emma even started giggling louder, knowing where JT was getting at.

Jay gave Emma an annoyed yet amused look, seeing how entertained she was by this, clueing in JT wanted Jay to take Sully's place for today.

"HA! He probably can't even read.." Emma bittered giving Jay an annoyed look back and then looked back down at her script carelessly, rehearsing in her head.

Jay crossed his buff arms against his chest, thinking about it, while still glaring at Emma. "Alright," he said loudly out of nowhere, nodding once at JT before walking to the stage, "I'll do it." He jumped up the stage and stood next to Emma, and swiped the script out of her hands roughly.

Emma's mouth fell and she stared in a bit of shock and horror before rolling her eyes and just going with it.

Jay boredly started to read, in a dull voice, "My Dear Bride I-"

"Jay." JT cut him off from reading as he sat down next to Liberty again infront of the stage to watch, "If you want me to help you out, you half to do this for real." He gave him a look.

Jay glared at him threatening, but tried to calm down, he did really need a break from Raditch, always on his ass.

Jay sighed and took a deep breath, some students around the stage raised eyebrows, seeing what he was about to give. Alex and Amy just came in as well, and giggled together, seeing what Jay was being forced to do.

"My Dear Bride, I want to just give you one kiss, one kiss and you will-" Jay started to smirk and stiffed a laugh, going over the next line before he read it, looking at the script like it was just plain stupid.

It was.

Emma gave him a look though, begging him to be serious, which he caught and just grinned at her and then at JT with a wince, "Sorry." He apoligised, raising his hands up and tried to get back to being serious, "One kiss and you will fall for me, you'll believe we'll be together for eternity. Kiss Emma." Jay read that part out loud and shut up quick.

The script was telling him to kiss her, that was what this role had to do..right now.

His grey pierced eyes shot straight ahead like a deer in the head lights, Emma looked a bit in panic as well, eyes widening over to JT and Liberty, silently begging her friends no.

These two could go down in history being the worse enimies Degrassi ever had, they can't make them do this!

On the side, without being noticed, Amy smirked nudging Alex who tried to cover her mouth from laughing, knowing her boyfriend wouldn't do it.

Jay scratched the back of his neck, "Do I have to-"

"Do you want the deal?" taunted JT.

Jay bit the end of his tounge, hard. He squinted his eyes the way he did when in a deep, tough thought.

Emma snickered in disgust and in embarrassment, "He does **not **have to-" Emma was cut off suddenly when Jay just rolled his eyes, she stood right next to him to it was easy for him to just turn and bow his head, kissing her hard, he grabbed the back of her head knowing she might try to push and get away.

He needed **this damn deal!** This damn **credit**, he needed-

Jay softened to how perfect her lips felt against his, like they belonged there. His chest suddenly ached.. in the most nicest way.

He needed **this** kiss.

Her lips were just a bit tinier than his, more easy for his fuller ones to devour hers and press against on over and over, and slip his tounge through, which he did, just a soft flick once or twice, his hand and fingers on the back of her head slowly slid through her hair slowly. He swore by the last kiss he gave her, she kissed back, and her hands that tried shoving his shoulders to get away, stopped pushing.

Alex and Amy stood in shock, Alex looking on in horror, seeing the impressed look of everyone around them.

"Well, no tounge was really implied, but thanks for getting _right in there._" Jt joked, swinging his fist up when he said the last part and grinned.

Jay pulled away stunned with that kiss and himself, staring down at Emma who looked even more a bit dazed, he smirked, she looked cute too, puzzeled by the kiss and her lips a bit puffy. Her hands quickly let go of his shoulders and backed away from him, his hands falling, he gave her a wierd look but looked back to JT.

"Good?" he said after coughly slightly and awkwardly snuck a glance at Emma again.

Jt was still trying to stop grinning, "Perfect. You'll hear from Raditch." He shrugged and teased, "And chance you want to just star in this play for real?"

Jt shut up, seeing the bitterness back in Jay's eyes as he glared at Jt and he sat up straight.

"sorry." He mumbled and watched Jay go back down the stairs of the stage as Emma walked off through the back quickly too.

Jay stormed out of the gym so fast he didn't even see Alex who stood there and fumed.

"Are you o-" Amy gasped and winced when Alex roughly put her hand to Amy's mouth.

"You really need to know when to shut up." Alex sneered and yanked her hand back, storming off.

Amy's mouth dropped and she put her hand to her mouth, Alex held her mouth so hard her nail dug into her lower lip, splitting a bit down the middle.

Emma was in the back of the stage, putting her little jean coat on and grabbing her little leather back pack.

"What..was..that?!" Manny slowly asked, breathless herself as Emma gasped and turned, clearly shaken up.

"Nothing." Emma snapped and went looking for her math homework. Where the hell did she put it!?

Manny smirked, looking up at the ceiling, "ignoring the fact Jay's a total ass, he's a babe, possibly the babeliest babe in the school." She admits.

"That's not a word." Emma declared simply and quickly, not looking at Manny in the eye.

Manny just giggled, seeing how frazzled Emma was from this, turned Manny on a bit too! Manny laughed harder. Jay Hogart and Emma Nelson kissed! This had to also go down in history. Emma grabbed her found math book and took off.

"You KISSED her!" Alex yelled madly at Jay in the school parking lot.

Jay rolled his eyes dramatically, "I know." He said sarcastically, and added, "It was part of the script."

"That you didn't have to take so damn seriously!" Alex punched his arm. He barely winced and put on his sunglasses, "I don't ever want you kissing another girl again, espashally Emma!" she closed her eyes and corrected herself, "Nature freak."

Jay raised an eyebrow, "You called her Emma." This whole event was defiantly just turning things upside down. Jay couldn't even explain that weird chest feeling he was still going through at the moment when he thought of that kiss again.

Alex madly held her fists tightly. She said 'Emma' because now, frankly, she had to admit she was a little threatened by the girl, wouldn't ever say that out loud though but I mean, before, Emma was just nature freak, Alex wasn't jealous of the girl because Alex had Jay, the hottest baddest boy in school.. now, she wasn't so sure of that, and reality was hitting Alex, she could be as cruel as she wanted to be, but Emma would always be nicer, smarter and prettier, and she could tell by the look in Jay's eyes, he was in a trance.. over Emma Nelson.

She'd make him regret it.

Alex looked into Jay's eyes as warningly as she could, "If you go near Emma again, I will dump your ass so fast"

Jay glared down at her, "I never said I was gonna, but if you're going to threat me like that, maybe I will for entertainment." He taunted, raising his eyebrow like his usual smart ass self.

Alex gritted her teeth, "You humiliated me kissing her like that." She turned to leave and whipped around, "We're over." She went to leave again, to turn and walk up to him again. She shoved him hard against the car as she spat, "By the way, I slept with Towerz twice last summer and Aaron last week."

She spat on the ground infront of Jay's feet and stormed off.

Jay stood there, a bit confused, outraged and intrigued at the same time, he blinked and hollered after her, "Well, I slept with Aaron's cousin last week too!" he said truthfully and widened his arms out, "How ironic!" he snickered and watched Alex still storm off but raised her middle finger up before getting onto a city bus. He shook his head and turned to open his civic door to see Emma just passing, narrowing her eyes at the scene and over hearing just the last part.

"Charming." She taunted, rolling her eyes and still walking off quickly, she was trying to still be his enemy, while still trying to avoid him because of that kiss at the same time. She was doing a good job right?!

Jay didn't know what came over him, he raced into his car, roared the engine and pulled out quickly, rounding the parking lot as she cut through a field, getting onto the road to get home.

His car suddenly sped a bit passed her, breaked so heavily she looked up and gave him an insane look when he backed it up and started slowly driving next to her at her fast walking speed.

"What do you want?" Emma snapped, narrowing her eyes while still walking quick and crossed her arms, holding herself tight. This was wierd, too wierd. Was Jay going to kill her?

"Let me drive you home." He said, leaning a bit over the passanger seat as he drove to look at her.

Emma laughed softly, glancing at him and back to the side walk, "No way."

He smirked, she was so fun when she fought back with him, but she did it in the sweetest way.

"Please?" he asked, putting on a fake pout.

Emma gave him a look, "What's your deal? Haven't you done enough today?" she gave him a look, reminding him of that kiss as if to say he went too far.

Jay's smirk turned into a taunting Cheshire grin, "You kissed back." Emma looked horrified when he said that and he breaked the car when she stopped walking.

Emma opened, closed, and opened her mouth trying to find something mean to say. She glared and stormed off, into the field where he couldn't follow.

Jay sat in his car, and turned his car off, smirking again and watching her go. Alex was right about one thing, he was in a trance.. and he didn't think he was ever going to get out of it.

He was dying to kiss her one more time. Or several.. if she'd let him.

Jay walked into the Dot where Spinner worked, usually he would grin and greet him but since the shooting he was acting like emo boy and mumbled hi, even though he gave a look seeing how bright and happy Jay looked.

"Who'd you stuff in a locker today?" taunts Spinner jokingly, eyeing him weirdly. He was drying dishes on his counter.

Jay chuckled and sat down at the counter, "A guy can't be happy for no reason?"

"No." Spinner simply replied.

Jay frowned and rolled his eyes to then look around and told him, "Me and Alex broke up."

Spinner stopped drying his dishes and his mouth fell, "dude...sorry." he knew Jay and Alex have been together for like, almost 3 years.. even though he knew they cheated on another a bit, they always were with another.

Jay shrugged, waving it off, "She'll come around, we can be friends." He dully insisted and leaned foward tapping the counter, "It's kissing someone else today that changed my life."

Spinner laughed a bit, "Oh yeah? You a better man now?" he laughed even harder, "Whose the unlucky girl?"

Jay smirked, totally agreeing with what Spinner was saying even though it was insulting, Jay may still be the same asshole but at least now he was after one girl and one girl only.

Jay looked around narrowing his eyes for any listeners, then answered daringly, "Emma Nelson."

Spinner dropped the two cups he was drying again and they smashes on the floor as he went into shock and then cursed twice trying to clean everything up.

Some customers turned and gave odd looks.

Jay nodded, understanding his reaction and clenched his jaw.

Spinner forgot about the mess and huffed, leaning on the counter, "Is that even legal?" he hissed at Jay in a hoarse whisper so no one could hear, "Me and you both know she's out of your legue, even for me."

"I can put on a tie and pretend to be a good boy." Taunted Jay. Whose to say he couldn't be a good man for Emma?

Spinner snickered shaking his head, "It's Emma Nelson, she'll see right through you. I get she's pretty alright?" Spinner huffed, "but come on, shes a year younger, you have plenty other girls you can choose from and not even work for. I'm not saying she's too good for you, I just mean shes too good, as in pure, your evil ways would ruin her." Teased Spinner and asked him, "why not leave her alone after what we did to her?"

"_We _didn't do anything Spinner, stop thinking that way." Hissed Jay, "IT was RICK." Now that good chest feeling in Jay went down to his stomach, and he felt sick, "Fuck you for ruining my buzz." He growled. He wasn't one who was use to the guilt feeling.

Spinner frowned, "It's just..you're from different worlds.. no, planets!" he insisted, trying to make Jay understand.

Jay shook his head fast, "Man I don't know, I knew she was different since I met her, she always stuck out like a sore thumb through a crowd, and she annoyed me more than anyone could cause she was always proving me wrong. And this year? She's gotten so much more hotter, and our trip to Wasaga with Sean.. I found myself LAUGHING with her." He gave Spinner an insane look, "I never laughed with Alex, maybe _with_ her **at** people, but never **with **another." He looked disgusted, "And I've never made sand castles or dug her in the sand either."

"You and Nelson made sand castles?" Spinner couldn't help but smirk.

Jay rolled his eyes, "Sean was having a breakdown on the beach, what else was there to do?"

Spinner had to laugh and shake his head, but he tried to go serious, pointing at Jay, "Please, please, please.. keep the wolf away from the princess." He was still joking, but completely serious, and walked off.

Jay stared off and bit his tounge. He couldn't explain it, he really, really wanted Emma now. That kiss just proved the feelings he held down for so long, he liked her, and like he said, now, he wanted her. He scoffed though, trying to take Spinners advice.

_**(Sail-Awolnation)  
Sail!**_

This is how I show my love  
I made it in my mind because  
I blame it on my A.D.D. baby

This is how an angel cries  
I blame it on my own sick pride  
Blame it on my A.D.D. baby

Sail! Sail!  
Sail! Sail!  
Sail!

Maybe I should cry for help  
Maybe I should kill myself  
Blame it on my A.D.D. baby

Maybe I'm a different breed  
Maybe I'm not listening  
So blame it on my A.D.D. baby

Sail! Sail!  
Sail!


	2. It Was Only A Kiss

Emma tried to throw herself into tons of studying, she brought home homework that wasn't even homework.

That'd set her mind off everything!

_Ring, ring._

Emma glared at her phone but reached over on her bed to get it. She answered it exhaustingly.

"Hello?"

"Em.."

Emma stopped everything. **Not **what she needed right now. It's been almost a month since he left, he hasn't even called Ellie to see how she was doing or to tell how he was doing.

"Sean?"

"Yeah.."

Emma sat up more on her bed and awkwardly shifted. "What are you doing calling me?"

"Was it wrong? Sorry." He quickly said, "I'll hang up-"

"No, no." Emma exclaimed and shut up, wow, that looked desperate. She sighed through the silence, "I could really talk to someone." So many things were changing. At least he went through the shooting with her, understood things, knew how insane Jay could be.

Maybe she'd leave that one out though.

"Where's Manny?" he teased ,"You two are usually attached to the hip."

Actually barely, not as much as they used to be.

"You wouldn't know, you're not around." Emma bittered, it came out harsher than she thought, she blinked, "Sorry."

He coughed lightly on the other end, "It's okay, I deserved it, I ran away like a little boy."

Emma shook her head, "No, I'd run too if I could." She sadly laughed, looking down.

"From what, your life is perfect!" he insisted.

Emma's face looked bitter, "Stop putting me on a pedastale." She told him seriously.

"Can't help it, you're perfect to me." Came his flirtatious reply, Emma wasn't ready for it, kind of caught her by suprize.

"Have you called Ellie?" she tried to change the subject.

"Not lately." He breathed.

"not since we left you in Wasaga." Emma corrected tauntingly. He stayed quiet.

Sean finally spoke, "I was going out of my mind there, Wasaga made me think everything through, let me breath. Figure out whose for me, Ellie's not for me."

Emma smiled, happy for Sean, "So whose the lucky girl?" she asked, thinking he had met someone in Wasaga.

It was silent, but she almost heard him grinning on the other end, "You'll see soon. I'll talk to you later. Night Em."

"Night Sean." Emma said and hung up, looking a bit puzzeled at the phone but shrugged. It was good to hear from him, he was a good friend now.

That next Monday at school, Emma went to their last Dracula rehearsal before the real play this weekend.

When she entered, her eyes fell on the first person she saw closest to the door, Jay. She stopped walking.

Jay worked on the outside of the stage, putting fake rocks and tree leaves over it, nailing it until he saw Emma and stopped, looking at her just as intensely as she looked back at him.

He blinked and looked away, focusing hard on the work infront of him but mind still on her as she blinked and walked the other way, blinking once more from being so confused.

Jay frowned deeply but tried to keep his word to Spinner. Maybe he was right, Jay was too much bad for Emma.

"Hey Emma." Sully greeted her as she put her stuff down on the gym floor and she smiled barely and he smirked smugly, "I'm feeling all better now so we can defiantly practice that kiss."

Emma felt sick to her stomach when he said that, and Jay felt the same way. He didn't turn though, just focused harder on those rocks.

Alex was near with Amy and narrowed her eyes at Jay and glanced at Emma, catching the blonde sneaking a glance at him before walking off to go on stage.

Jay went back to nailing the rocks into the stage harder, piercing his lips together tightly, eyes full of jealousy.

_**It started out with a kiss  
How did it end up like this?  
It was only a kiss  
It was only a kiss  
Now I'm falling asleep  
And she's calling a cab  
While he's having a smoke  
And she's taking a drag**_

As everyone practiced their lines, Alex smirked waiting for the kissing scene to come up, and Jay knew it was coming, trying to focus on the nail he was about to hammer in, trying to ignore it. Alex went behind him and fakely tripped, pushing him slightly when he went to hammer the nail and got his thumb. He winced hard and dropped his hammer, standing up and clenching his hand.

_**Now they're going to bed  
And my stomach is sick  
And it's all in my head  
But she's touching his chest now  
He takes off her dress now  
Let me go**_

Jay looked up to glare at Alex, Alex just smirked right at him and nodded over her shoulder, Jay looked behind her and his eyes turned from anger to sadness, he had so much emotion in his eyes Alex had never seen before, and nor had he himself ever felt before. She gave him a 'that's what you get' look, before walking off proudly. Jay kept watching Sully kissing Emma slowly up on the stage.

_**Cause I just can't look its killing me  
And taking control**_

_**Jealousy, turning saints into the sea  
Swimming through sick lullabies  
Choking on your alibis  
**_

Emma pulled away and turned slowly, trying to hide from people watching as she wiped her mouth from Sully's kiss, it felt wrong, dirty. She turned back around, she found her eyes wondering to Jay's station where he did construction to find him looking right back at her, with a look she couldn't make out, it was mysterious, with a bit of betrayl mixed in. And though not even dating, or even SEEING Jay Hogart..Emma did feel she was betraying him.

_**But it's just the price I pay  
Destiny is calling me  
Open up my eager eyes  
'Cause I'm Mr Brightside**_

That's when Jay turned and threw the hammer back into it's tool box and walked off, ignoring the plead of Jt for him to finish the work, Emma stood on the stage watching him go.

Something was going on here, and it was twisted, yet felt good, yet was too confusing.

As for Jay, he madly stormed out of Degrassi.

_**I never  
I never  
I never  
I never**_

_**(mr Brightside-the killers)**_


	3. But Darling, You are the Only Exception

_**(The only exception-paramore) **_

_**When I was younger I saw my daddy cry  
and curse at the wind.  
He broke his own heart and I watched  
as he tried to reassemble it.**_

And my momma swore  
that she would never let herself forget.  
And that was the day that I promised  
I'd never sing of love if it does not exist.  


Jay found himself walking through the hall of school during some classes, he knew Emma had spare. How? How did he know that?

Why did he care?!

His hard look turned soft when he passed the library, its bare clear windows showed Emma through them, sitting at a table. Jay tilted his head almost curiously, watching her. She seemed so content just reading a book, personally, that'd kill Jay. Why couldn't he admit what he was doing? What he was doing with Emma Nelson?

Emma didn't notice him watching her and he watched her get up, smile at a passing student and probably friend who said hi, and moved to the book shelves.

Jay snuck into the library, feeling a strange pull to follow her. She went up a different isle, and he went up the one beside, watching her through the shelves and books. She was.. beautiful. He got lost in watching her.

_**But darling,  
You are the only exception.  
You are the only exception.  
You are the only exception.  
You are the only exception.**_

When Emma slowly walked around the isle, coming toward his, he raised his eyebrows and grabbed a book, watching her still not notice him and looked down at the book, pretending to read.

Emma looked up and she looked to find Jay reading, she looked impressed, then puzzled, then smiled rolling her eyes.

He was reading a map? Interesting.

"Jay, you're reading." She states with a hint of sarcasm.

Jay looked up and pretended to notice her and smirked smugly, "Yeah, I do that sometimes, you should put more faith in people." He said, pretending to look hurt and crossed his arms as she grabbed his book.

"Believe me Jay, I try to have more faith in you." she teased back, pointing to the word MAP on the book and gave him a 'nice try'.

Jay winced and smirked, "Am I a loss cause?" he smiled, watching her walk around him and lean back on the table beside.

"Competely." She confirmed and tilted her head up at him, "Why are you here?"

"I'm stalking you." he decided to be honest and she looked amused and humored at the same time.

"Oh really?" she asked and he nodded, stepping closer to her.

His eyes pierced into hers and he spoke lowly, "Trying to figure out if we can be friends or something."

Emma went serious, and got lost in his eyes until she shook her head, "Or something? We can hardly be friends, what does or something mean? Less than friends? I'll take that option." She confirms, slyly grinning.

"Means more than friends actually." He challenged, watching her for a reaction and got the one he expected, shock.

Emma picked her mouth back up, "I'll pass on that too." She leaned back up and went to walk away, nervously playing with her hands.

He went after her and grabbed her arm, turning her before she left the isle, they were alone in it, it was the dark part of the isle and her breath got shakey when he was so close to her, lips inches apart, she swore they were going to kiss again- he, HE would kiss HER again. Emma tried to shrug out of his hold and he leaned her up against the book shelves, and slid his hands up her neck to her cheeks, cupping her face.

She found herself instantly melt into his hands, it scared the shit out of her, Jay had so much power over everyone and she tries to ignore the fact he had a different power over her, it made her breathless, scared, mad, happy.

"_You_ kissed _me __**back**__." _he said the same thing the other day, trying to make her admit it, admit she felt something too.

She couldn't breath and removed his hands off her, and ran out, and away from him, as far as she could.

Jay stared where she once stood against the book shelves and narrowed his eyes at the door that shut, that she ran out of, and sadly clenched his jaw.

He knew what he was doing to her now.. what he was doing with Emma Nelson.. he was falling in love with her.

He didn't want to admit it before, he's seen tons of people claim they loved and that soon went down to hell, crashed and burned, but for once in his life, even after he experienced his parents' divorce get so bad they even stopped talking to_ him_, he was going to believe in **this** though, in him and Emma, because he had never, ever, felt this strongly about _anything. _ He had to make her admit there could be something, if not, he must be the only hopeless one.

_**And I've always lived like this  
keeping a comfortable distance.  
And up until now I've sworn to myself  
that I'm content with loneliness.**_

Because none of it was ever worth the risk.

Well you are the only exception.  
You are the only exception.  
You are the only exception.  
You are the only exception.

_**I've got a tight grip on reality, but I can't! Let go of what's infront of me here.**_


	4. Mind Vs Heart

Emma stood on the Degrassi stairs at the end of a school day, Jay had just gotten into his car and he leaned back in his drivers seat, watching her a bit gloomy.

She'd never believe he had **real **feelings for her, he just knew it; their _relationship_ had been rocky and full of sarcasm and teasing since they had first met. That's what made her so special to him, she was fun.

Emma checked the time on her phone, Snake said he had a suprize for her and would pick her up today himself, but he was missing.

As she looked around a red car pulled up and she tried to ignore the fact it stopped infront of her and the window rolled down.

"Want a ride hot stuff?" came a deep voice and Emma couldn't resist rolling her eyes and then giving he driver an annoyed look.

Her mouth fell, Sean drove the car and grinned devilishly at her.

"Sean!?" she said in still pure shock and went around the car as he opened his door and came out, hugging her tightly.

Back in Jay's car, he sat up and his eyes almost budged out, of fucking course Cameron would be back, with the worse timing ever. The guy left 2 months ago now and now he decides to come back? What the hell!

His door opened and in came Spinner, "Man so sweet of you to wait for me." He taunted Jay, hitting his chest playfully.

Jay didn't even move or look away from what he was watching and Spinner sighed, knowing what he was doing, he saw it from outside too.

"Stop watching man, only going to bug you more when they get back together." Snickered Spinner.

Jay snapped his eyes at Spinner, glaring, "Who says they are?"

Spinner shrugged giving him a sorry look, "It's what they do, even though they know how the story ends, they'll keep going back to another." He snickered, "Pathetic."

Jay looked back, his mouth hung a bit. He punched the steering wheel and grabbed his keys, getting out.

Spinner's eyes widened and got out quickly, "Jay!"

Meanwhile, Emma pulled away from the longing hug Sean gave her, and he still held onto her waist when she pulled off.

"What are you doing here?!" she exclaimed.

Sean was about to answer when Jay's voice came through, "Yeah **bud**, not even a call to your oldest friend?" Jay asked sarcastically, stopping between them, Sean still didn't let Emma go.

Sean gave Jay a sorry look and smiled to Emma, "I wanted it to be a surprise." Emma smiled softly back.

"Tickle us suprized." Snapped Jay, narrowing his eyes at Sean who gave a funny wierd look but shrugged it off.

Emma felt the tension and pushed Sean's shoulder slightly, Jay rolled his eyes at that. Flirt much?

Emma insisted, "I'm glad you're back. How long are you visiting?"

"I transferred back Em!" Sean informed happily, dimples showing off, "Your Dad helped me."

"You what?" Jay asked, stunned, mad, happy, pissed off, jealous.. he didn't know WHAT he was feeling anymore. That was way too much right now. He hated going to Degrassi ! Damn FUCKING drama.

Emma shook her head slowly, unsure,"Sean..don't you think that might be a little unhealthy?" she tilted her head curiously, "I thought you were doing well in Wasaga?"

Sean finally dropped his hands off her, feeling a bit rejected but tried to explain happily, "I was but I was thinking, me and you put our differences aside, I admitted to Ellie I wasn't happy with her, and I got my best friend here." He slapped Jay's stomach who hid his cringe but glared at his 'friend'

"Yeah." Jay muffled out and caught Emma's look of warning. What was that look for?

"I think I can manage being okay here." Sean said as him assuring himself too, he smiled to Emma again, "You're doing it."

Emma laughed uneasy, "Yeah.." she drifts off and both guys watched her awkwardly shift and look around, "I'll see you around then?" she asked Sean, taking a step away, hinting she **had** to go, but not really to be honest.

Sean sheepishly grinned, "Snake actually asked me to drive you home.." he looked at Emma with a bit of hope.

Emma oh'd and Jay bit the end of his tounge so hard he swore it was bleeding.

Sean smiled to Jay and Jay tried to put on his fakest grin, "You too bud, you're coming to the Nelson/Simpson household tonight." He looked to Emma, "Snake said we're having a small welcome back dinner." He laughed a bit.

Emma and Jay shared a look and Jay replied to Sean, but with his eyes on Emma, "That's great!" he said ever so sarcastically, shaking his head happily at her.

Emma squinted her eyes at him and Sean now knew he wasn't imagining it, something was wierd here, then again, Emma and Jay were always wierd near another.

"Okay." Breathed Emma, trying to calm down, "Let's go." She went to walk to the passangers door until Jay grabbed the handle, scooting infront of her and giving her a look.

"Men in the front." Jay simply said to her, opening the door for himself while giving her a taunting look as she glared up at him but moved to the back door, glare still on him.

"You mean little boys." She corrected and he just snickered, both of them looking for Sean to unlock the doors.

"Cam." Jay said, snapping Sean out of it who stared at the school.

Sean coughed awkwardly and blinked, going over and unlocked it, getting inside. Before Emma and Jay got in they shared a small look, was Sean actually going to be okay? The shooting had really shook him up..

They now all sat at the kitchen table, Emma's mother broke the silence.

"So glad you could come Jayson, we haven't been introduced yet. I've heard tons of things!" Spike went around the dinner table, passing everyone plates with pizza on it.

Emma scowled at her mom, that wasn't true, least she didn't hear anything from Emma! Snake was turning red look, smiling down at his plate though and Sean laughed, knowing it must of been Snake.

Jay got the hint and joked, "All bad things I hope." Hmm, dinner with his MI teacher, and Greenpeace, this was going to be interesting.

Snake laughed, he had to admit, guy had a good humor, just wasn't a A+ student.. nor B+... sometimes not even C... anyways!

"I just told her you were a bit like Sean back in the day." Snake told Jay, putting a hand on Sean's shoulder, "A bit wild, rebellious.. don't know your place in the world yet. Misunderstood!" He insisted, nodding, Sean nodded too and it seemed only Emma and Jay didn't like what he said.

Even Emma snuck a glance under her eyelashes as Jay who just stayed leaning back in his chair, an unreadable look on his face.

Spike sat down and noticed the awkward silence and narrowed her eyes at Snake and tried to smile to Jay.

Sean took a deep breath, "Well, it's glad to be back." He insisted.

Snake nodded, "It's glad to have you back, right Emma?" he asked the blonde as if it should really matter to her.

Emma looked a bit embarrassed and just wanted to leave the table, Jay looked the same way, she just nodded slowly and picked off the meat off her pizza.

Jay noticed he got a pizza with no meat on it, and just switched his plate with her, finally leaning forward and eating it.

Emma snuck a glance at him, looked down at the now veggie pizza, and another glance at him, softening.

That was actually sweet. Did he even notice he just did that for her?

Sean saw the nice gester as well and eyed Emma, catching her watching Jay. She...no, no, Emma couldn't like Jay, Jay was not her type, not one bit, he didn't even care for the environment, hell the trash she picked up was probably from him!

Sean clenched his jaw and asked too curiously, "How Lexy Jay?" he asked.

Jay looked up at Sean, and eyed him. Sean knew the relationship Jay and Alex had, they didn't care about another, nor talk about another outside their once relationship. So why was Sean suddenly caring? Jay smirked, did he see something between him and Emma? Was he threatened?

**Good****.**

Emma decided to chime in, "He cheated on her." She taunted, smiling successfully when she heard her mom gasp and put her smile toward Jay who gave her a look that knew what she was trying to do.

"We both cheated." He confirmed, trying to look as if an alright guy to her parents.

"Ah to be young." Snake joked, then pointed at Jay, "One day you'll meet the one and she won't take that crap."

"Emma!" exclaimed Spike, giving her daughter a look of unapproval when the blonde snorted at that.

Emma shrugged innocently, she just didn't think Jay could do not not ever cheat on someone. He liked to party, and he liked his girls too much, and Jay knew she didn't believe in it either, so he shook his head looking at Spike.

"It's okay. She doesn't know me as well as she thinks." He informed Spike who gave a confused look. He hardened his look onto Emma who just raised an eyebrow at him.

"Emma and Jay don't get along." Sean informed Spike as politely as he could.

Jay eyed Sean close now, the little jerk was TRYING to make him look bad. He knew it! Even Emma raised an eyebrow at Sean, who was he to say something like that? Least this was Jay and Emma's agreement from the start with another, what was Sean's excuse for being so mean to her even after they broke up?

"Emma, you're not the type of person to judge someone and not get along!" Spike said in shock.

Emma's mouth fell and she got all flustered, shooting Jay a look and back to mom, stuttering for words. She didn't like not looking perfect in her mothers eyes, "He..." Emma blurted out the first word she could, "BULLIES people, mom!" she exclaimed.

Jay choked on the milk he was drinking. Both Snake and Sean raised their eyebrows amused.

"Ah, the bad boy of Degrassi." Spike said, understanding.

Jay was still trying to get it together, "You just call me a bully?" he stiffed another laugh, looking at Emma who scowled at him, pushing her chair out.

"I'm going to get a drink." She informed and left.

Jay leaned forward on the table, elbows on the first and holding his hands together in a fist, his fist laid against his mouth, trying to hide his smirk. She just called him a bully!

"I'll go apoligise." Jay lied, getting up. Spike smiled sweetly at him and went back to talking to Sean.

Emma was in the kitchen and glared at the cup that was over flowing with water from the sink, Jay went up behind her and watched it over flow with her.

"I think you got it full." Jay taunted and she glared over her shoulder, too mad to be scared from his sudden appearance. She put her drink down, not caring for it.

"How dare you make me look like the evil one infront of my mom!" Emma snapped, turning to face him and leaning on the counter, they were so close his waist was even pressed against hers.

"I didn't say anything." He said in amusement. Sean said it.

"You not saying anything does enough." Emma shot back.

"And I'm the bully?" teased Jay leaning his head down to her, his eyes scanning her eyes to her lips, then her smooth neck, "I think it's just you now Emma, its _you_ bullying _me _now." He said rather sexily, like it didn't bother him one bit. He loved to tease her.

Emma bit her lower lip feeling his breath on her neck, tickling it, oh how much they both wanted him to just kiss it, leave marks so people knew she was his. He didn't want to scare her, so he slowly raised his elbows and ran his hands up her smooth tanned arms and his strong hands gripped her upper arms when it got there, then pulled her up against him.

Emma moaned when he did so, and he pressed his lips to hers, and kissed her in want and need until she pulled away, eyes still closed with his and bit her lip but kissed him back after a second. He flicked his tounge against hers and deepened the kiss, they kissed so much he had time to run his hands from her arms to the back of her thighs and lifted her onto the kitchen sink and kissed her some more, they kissed so much that when they pulled apart, they were breathless.

Emma's little hands softly pushed him back a little, staring forward in shock as he stared down at her.

Her big brown doe eyes stared up at him, still panting, she suddenly insisted, "This isn't right."

"Tell me that when you're not kissing me back." He shot back quickly. She bit her lower lip and stopped when she saw him hungrily looking down at it.

"Stop!" Emma exclaimed, not knowing how to deal with this..attraction. She jumped off the sink just as Sean came in.

"You guys coming back in?" Sean's voice startled Emma, and she stared at him as Jay gave him an annoyed look but huffed, nodding slowly.

Emma looked back at Jay who just nodded towards Sean at her, as if to say it was okay to go, Emma slowly went passed Sean who looked clueless.

At the end of the night, Emma walked Sean and Jay over to his red car, he still had to drive Jay back to his car at school, midway though Sean stopped and told Jay, "I'll be there in a second."

Jay turned and gave him a look, Emma stood behind Sean and didn't see the look Sean gave Jay, narrowing his eyes to where Emma stood to hint to Jay he needed to talk to her.

Emma heard Sean though, and knew he wanted to talk to her without Jay which sounded, bad, like he wanted to say something important, she even gave Jay a puzzeled look back until Jay looked away from her slowly and nodded at Sean, leaving.

Sean turned to Emma, digging his hands into his pockets at Sean's car door shut, Jay inside, trying not to look.

Jay furrowed his eyebrows, confused at how terrible and nervous he felt right now. It took him his everything not to look at them.

Sean took a deep breath, "Emma.." he drifts slowly and she stared at him, "I want you to know, I came back.. for you."

Emma stopped breathing, fuck, she knew it. Deep down, she knew it! Selfish little Sean, trying-.. to.. get back together?

Emma glanced at Jay inside Sean's car, now lighting up a smoke.

"I know it's wrong, but I can't help but feel you're the missing piece to making me feel better again, to feel whole." His words went through her head but she kept looking at Jay a little sadly well in thought.

Maybe this would make Jay back off, understand that even if they were, mildly, extremely attracted to another, it wasn't meant to be.

Her and Sean had to meant to be right? Since he kept coming back over and over? Emma looked so confused as she finally looked at Sean and nodded.

Sean blinked, "I-Is that a yes?" he was abit shocked as well, all night she looked a bit distance. She was really going to give him a chance.

"Yeah." Emma said after looking blank and then nodded, smiling softly.

Sean smiled and leaned in, pulling her into his arms. That when Jay finally glanced out the window, and saw them, jealousy hit him like no tomorrow, but he insisted it was just a friendly hug, not knowing what was going on or being said. He looked away.

Sean suddenly captured her lips to his and she softly kissed back until pulling away and mustered a smile, putting her hands on his chest, "I'll see you tomorrow." She declared.

He smiled backing up, "Tomorrow." He insisted and teased, Back in Degrassi. Back together!" Emma couldn't help but sadly smile and form a small laugh, watching him happily get into the car.

This had to be for the best, Emma snuck another glance at Jay before she turned, sucked in a shakey breath and went back inside. She was meant for Sean. This was right, right? She'd get over this attraction for Jay some day, she wouldn't feel this twisted feeling of wanting to pick him over Sean anymore?

Because Sean was for her! Sean was for her.. she kept repeating in her head and closed the front door, leaning on it and shutting her eyes.

The next school day Jay was heading over to the school building when he slowed down seeing Sean waiting for him, but Alex standing next to him, as if waiting for him.

Both of them? Even though he swore Alex wanted to kill him?

"Hiiii.." Jay slowly drifted, eyeing her dangerously close.

Alex rolled her eyes to Sean, "Told you its his fault, he just makes me want to punch him." She confirmed, giving Jay a look.

Jay rolled his eyes, "If only you were a guy I could punch back." He taunted.

"Alright, lets get over this." Sean confirmed, "No more fighting, there's been too much this year, I want to hangout with both of you so you're gonna have to put up with another."

Alex seemed to actually think about it as Jay snickered, "No way."

Alex glared at him and then saw both guys watch as Emma and Manny got off a school bus, Alex smirked and Jay caught that.

"Sean maybe you'd like to know-"

"Okay we'll get along." Jay cut off her giving her a pleading look not to tell Sean about the kiss with Emma. He didn't feel like getting punched right now.

Alex sized him up and down, looking like she didn't care but sighed and nodded, "We'll get along."

"good." Sean said and smiled happily, "Now I gotta go say morning to my girl friend."

"Girl friend?" both Jay and Alex said at the same time watching Sean walk around them and go to the mystery girl, yet not so mysterious when he snuck up from behind Emma who was walking with Manny and kissed her cheek happily from behind, she even laughed a little and shook her head, Manny Santos gawked the scene as well and hugged Sean, welcoming the traitor back..Jay felt sick.

Jay's mouth hung open as Alex leaned on the stair railings with a redemption look on her face, "How's it feel?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at Jay.

She was a little taken back how he didn't even blink, eyes still on Emma and Sean walking up into the school. When they were out of sight, he stared down at the ground sadly then hard.

Alex felt a pinge of pity, she had known Jay since she was 13, they were a terrible couple, they actually seemed just like friends the entire time they were dating, so it made her feel a little bad to see a friend upset.

Alex softly punched his shoulder, "Come on." She said gently, "its the Sean and Emma way. Fight, make up, fight, make up."

"She..kissed me the other day." Jay said emotionlessly, how could Emma do that? She wasn't that type of girl.

He thought he finally got her to see that they could be something, that he made her feel as great as she made him feel.

"The girl had a gun to her head, we can't understand that, actually, we're the reason for that." Alex informed and continued, "Sean knows how she feels maybe they do need another. Or, if you're lucky, it's just some cry for help and they're both going nuts. Either way, you gotta move on." She hit his back and started walking up the stairs.

Jay still didn't move. He felt totally betrayed, rejected, awful. He wouldn't wish this upon his worse enemy.

At lunch he sat with Alex, Spinner and Amy when Sean came over, pulling Emma behind him.

"no,no,no." Emma's small whisper was heard, trying to resist going over but Sean was whispering things into her ear and pulling her over.

Jay glared down at his can of pop, not wanting her to sit here either but there Sean sat infront of him, Emma beside.

"Love birds back together huh?" Spinner asked with his foolish grin and Sean nodded, smirking at Emma. When the two were wrapped up in another, Spinner passed Jay a sorry look.

Jay just ignored it. But he could only ignore so much. Under the table he clenched his fists together tightly, listening to Sean whisper sweet little things to her. Even Alex and Amy weren't caring but Jay was losing his mind.

It was when Sean moved Emma's long beautiful hair that Jay adored, over her shoulders, and he then leaned down and kissed her neck, that Jay snapped.

Emma even jumped when he got up so quick his chair threw back and he just walked off.

"What's his problem?" Amy asked, looking around. Sean shrugged, not knowing either and Amy looked to Alex who rolled her eyes and nodded at her to go, they got up and left.

This left Emma with Spinner and Sean, but she didn't talk to them, she glanced at the chair that was still fallen onto the ground until Sean took her hand in his.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Emma swallowed hard and mustered a smile, shaking her head, "Nothing." She kissed him quickly.

Sean eyed her though and leaned closer, she got nervous. Did he know?

"If it's Amy being around.. we don't have to sit here at lunch." He swore. Emma smiled a bit softly, that was sweet..but wasn't it. Actually it was wierd how Emma could care less about Amy now.

You think she would being that she was the girl Sean dated after breaking Emma's heart.

"I just need air." Emma admitted, standing.

Sean smiled sadly at her, "I know what you mean." He joked lightly, Emma eyed him.. he thought she meant the shooting still bugged her?

I mean yes every now and then it did.. but she found herself more worried and caring about something else, something unexpected. But she just nodded and left.

Spinner overheard that and was a bit guilty looking right now and coughed lightly, "You feelin' better these days man?" he asked Sean slowly.

Sean blinked hard and looked at Spinner, putting a fake grin on, "I'm fine."

But Spinner saw right through him, and actually felt terrible now. He wasn't. He understood he wanted Emma back, but maybe Degrassi was a bad idea right now? No?

As Emma found a fountain, she just stood by it, not even taking a sip. She glanced around the halls to look back to the left when she noticed Amy and Alex with Jay, he didn't see her watching, and Emma watched closer when Alex and Amy seemed to be rather too close to him, putting their hands all over him as if comforting him and being sluts at the same time.

**No sir, well I don't wanna be the blame, not anymore.  
It's your turn, so take a seat we're settling the final score.  
And why do we like to hurt so much?**

Emma stormed off and around the corner, stopping and leaning on the wall breathing heavily, having a panic attack. It wasn't fair! It wasn't fair she felt no hate for Amy around Sean, but felt it when she was around Jay.. it wasn't fair Emma's heart didn't flutter when around Sean and it wasn't fair it did more than flutter around Jay.

**I can't decide  
You have made it harder just to go on  
And why, all the possibilities, well I was wrong**

Emma needed to keep her distance. Badly. ****

That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.  
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.

Emma was with Sean as she exited school that day, and she caught Jay's eye from him standing against his car in the parking lot.

Sean's car was in the front of Degrassi so Emma could just get in there.

She and Jay held a bitter stare before she got in though, and she slammed the door after her, leaning her head against the window and shook her head, closing her eyes softly.  
**  
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating.  
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa **


	5. I know You're Fine But What To I Do?

I guess avoiding Jay helped a bit when he was avoiding her and Sean too. Emma sat at his usual lunch spot but he wasn't there, though his friends were.

It's been a month of dating Sean now, of barely seeing Jay. Was it weird of her to admit she missed having him around.. **a lot**?

"Where's Jay been?" Sean had to ask, looking around for him.

Alex snickered playing cards with Amy and Spinner, "No where round here." She caught Emma's look and raised an eyebrow.

Emma snapped her eyes off Alex and panicked a bit on the inside.. did Alex know something?

Amy started to laugh while putting down her cards, "Probably to hungover to even come to school today." She informed.

Alex gave Amy a warning look but the girl was dumb as bricks.

"Or he's still in bed with those two twins." Amy giggled harder and rolled her eyes, "Classic Hogart."

"You jealous it wasn't you?" taunted Alex and Amy lifted her gaze, finally catching Alex's glare down.

"What?" Amy asked, shrugging, what was the big deal talking about it here?

Emma slipped her hand out of Sean's, "I'm gonna go find Manny." She wanted to get out of there, right now. Why did she feel like she was going to cry?

"No, just stay here." Begged Sean, catching her arm tightly when she got up.

She gave him a look, "I've been ditching her and Liberty for almost a month now, I think I owe them." She took her hand back and went to walk off, stopping to kiss his head as she left.

"Fine, but come back as soon as you can." Sean hollered after her.

Alex gave that scene a wierd look and caught Spinner watching oddly too and snickered, shaking his head, but Alex took it more seriously.

"Cut the cord, Cam." She teased as lightly as she could, worried about how he was acting with Emma, like he couldn't breath without her.

"Shut up Alex." Snapped Sean.

She licked her lips nervously and leaned forward, "Are you okay?" she had to ask.

"Fine." He shrugged. Alex slowly nodded and Sean even joined in on playing cards with them, lunch was going well until someone behind Sean got shoved.

Sean heard the fall and wince of Toby Issacs and turned, seeing some big farm looking guy glaring over Toby.

"Hey dork, give me that." The guy nodded to Toby's brown paper bag with his food in it.

"But Johnny, it's mine." Toby said, still on the ground, almost curling into a ball. He was scared. And Sean almost had the same fear going through himself as he watched.

The fear quickly turned to madness.

"Mine now." Johnny confirmed, grabbing Toby by the collar and taking his lunch.

Sean had stood up now as Johnny let go Toby go and laughed til he saw a very angry Sean Cameron step infront of him.

"Give it back to him." Sean said slowly, his eyes looked, off. Even Toby gave Sean a worried look, he hadn't really been friends with him for years but he'd always be there for him.

"No." Johnny simply said, yet had a moment of weakness, he heard rumors of Sean before, and since he's got back everyones seen the muscels he's grown even more.

"Give it back to him, now." Warned Sean, stepping forward as Johnny shrugged carelessly and shook his head no, for his head to be shot to the left so roughly he fell over.

"SEAN!" Spinner yelled and Alex got up, running between the fight before it got worse, Spinner held Sean back, struggling hard, jesus this guy was going nuts!

Sean breathed madly and Johnny walked off when Alex yelled at him to. Sean finally tried to calm down when Johnny was out of site and then shoved Spinner off, storming out.

He passed Manny's table who couldn't help but look down eagerly and then go after him. Something was up with him.

Sean sat against the lockers in an empty hallway when Manny found him. She slowly walked over and asked, "Are you okay?"

Sean looked over madly, sick of that question, then calmed a bit seeing Manny. "I'm..fine." he tried to say as calm as he could. He liked Manny, and Manny was Emma's best friend, she didn't need his anger, and he'd never force it on her.

"Something tells me you say that a lot." Manny said with a sad frown, she's an expert of that lie.

Sean looked up at her hopelessly then sadly when she sat down next to him and he sighed, "I get it, I have emotional issues, when haven't I?" he joked slightly and she smiled at him to then shrug.

She was never afraid of him, she knew Sean, even when him and Emma broke up all those times she never said anything mean to or about him. Neither had he about her.

She decided to be honest, "They seem to be spiralling out of control right now Sean." She took a deep breath, "Maybe it's because you're back, you didn't give yourself enough time?"

He turned and gave Manny and outraged look, that then turned into a deer in the head lights look. "I have what I need." He said yet sounded so unsure.

"Like?" Manny challenged.

Sean swallowed hard, "Emma." He nodded.

Manny watched him closely, and now more sadly, he was unsure.. and he knew he was unsure about that. He was here for the wrong reason.

"She said she was going to meet with you." Sean remembered and asked, "Where is she?"

Manny shrugged, "She didn't find me then.. but I was in the cafeteria."

"She lied to me." Sean blinked and Manny shook her head and put her hand on his shoulder, he seemed to jump and she sighed.

"You're strong Sean, you're an amazing guy, figure this out okay? And be safe." She teased, getting up, and he watched her go. He couldn't help but notice himself watching her long brown hair sway with her hips.. god she was such a fox.. He blinked, needing to find Emma and got up to find his little blondie.

She didn't even go to her last class, and she wasn't at home. Sean stayed at his apartment freaking out, and texting her.

His door knocked and he finally went over, swinging the door open, Emma stood there with tears in her eyes and he softened, not so mad anymore, she looked so, hopeless, kind of what he looked like today. They were both losing it, its like they had a moment of weakness, feeling so weak together, and he pulled her in, grabbing her tightly in his arms as she clung to him, then started to kiss him deeply.

Sean couldn't help it, he needed an escape too, he knew Emma hasn't ever done it before but he was getting signs she wanted to, and he ripped at her shirt, pushing it up her toned tanned body, running his hands through her hair and kissed her harder.

Emma cried out as Sean pushed into her, gave her one second and pushed into again and not even a milasecond when he thrusted again and again, but Emma didn't care the pain took away the thoughts she was having.

She cried out hard when he ran his finger tips down her sides and hips as he pushed his pelvis into hers, but she found herself bucking up to meet his grinds. He panted heavily over her, and Emma found herself begging him to go harder.

Emma cried silently hard now, sitting on the floor in the bathroom, up against the door and hoping Sean couldn't hear. She was crying because she loved Sean but wasn't inlove with him and being together now, and in general, was the worse decision she's ever made. They were silently breaking before but now, being together, they were losing it, the shooting was haunting them no matter how much they denied it and they thought they needed another, no, Sean thought **he** needed Emma, and Emma had too much pressure on her from people thinking she could help anyone.. she couldn't, she couldn't even help **herself **anymore. And Sean was so, so bad for her, she was cracking now even worse. She was right, she once told Manny she was either fine, or lying to herself, she way defiantly lying to herself, and she couldn't play Sean's hero anymore because she wasn't that girl anymore, but now she was stuck, things were too fucked now to do this to him. She felt the pain in between her legs but it didn't amount to the pain in her heart, thinking of all the girls, the twins that Jay had been with.

How could he not feel as dirty as she did right now? He didn't feel a little bad sleeping with another girl after kissing **her** and making **her **see had feelings for him? She understood she was wrong to get back with Sean, but he couldn't tell her it was wrong? Couldn't fight her? Save her? Not she was stuck trying to save Sean, while breaking herself more and more..

_**An empty room,  
I'm empty too  
And everything reminds me of you  
So many things  
I shouldn't have missed  
The more that I push  
And the more you resist  
It's easy to say it's for the best  
When you want more  
While you leave me with less**_

Emma slowly came out after covering up the tears and saw Sean sitting on his bed with that lost look in his eyes Emma had been seeing since they got together. Him coming back to degrassi was such a mistake, but, Emma wrapped her arms around him and he laid his head on her chest and closed her eyes, it was now too late to go back. Emma numbly looked straight ahead as he clung to her.

_**I know you're fine, but what do I do?  
I know you're fine, but what do I do?**_

Jay laid in his bed, with some girl he didn't even know the name of, sleeping next to him, naked. He had _her _on his mind though too, wondering what she was doing with **him.**

He couldn't help but think Sean would one time get his hands on Emma, Jay was clueless and not knowing he already did.. though is crossed his mind and killed him thinking about Emma being with Sean.

_**I'm awake, and trying  
While you're sleeping like a babe  
Beside him  
I'm on the ledge while you're so  
God damn polite and composed  
And I know you see me,  
And you're making it look so easy  
What comes and goes,  
I'd go without**_

I know you're fine but what about  
(Fallout), Fallout (fallout), fallout (fallout), fallout  
Through the Fallout  
(Fallout), Fallout (fallout), fallout (fallout)  
You're the fallout

_**(Fallout-Marianas trench)**_


	6. All We Know Is Falling

Another week or two had gone by, and Jay decided he couldn't avoid at least Sean forever, he'd ask questions, and he was his friend so might as well go see him

Like the old times, Jay causally walked right in, why not? He was always welcomed. He saw a figure coming over and thinking it was Sean he went to greet, but shut his mouth, seeing Emma.

Not just Emma, but an Emma only wearing one of Sean's big grey hoody. Jay wasn't stupid, he was master of girls in his clothes and being naked under. Emma was naked under, that could only mean one more thing.

She didn't look up, so must of thought it was Sean, "Did you get my-" she looked up and she stared just as shocked back at Jay, 6 feet away. Her eyes flashed to sadness, and went to open her mouth to explain..Jay looked ruined, and she felt disgusted with herself, almost felt like a dirty slut or something the way he was looking at her. "I-"

Sean came in holding some grocery bags and noticed Jay, Jay heard him come in but couldn't even turn, his eyes stung into Emma's whose eyes were tearing up, she didn't expect her heart to break like it was right now.

He looked so crushed, she had no idea she had that power over her. She swallowed the lump in her throat, looking away from Jay guiltily and back at him, trying to give him a look of sorrow, silently begging for forgiveness.

"Oh hey man." Sighed Sean, feeling exhausted but glad his friend was over and hit his back, "We're about to make pasta, wana stay?"

Jays eyes looked liveless as he blinked a few times, finally turning, "No, I'm leaving." He said in such a dull voice, like there was nothing in him.

Sean gave a wierd look and watched him storm over and caught Emma move forward, "Jay!" she choked but he slammed the door after him and she gasped, stepping back and whiped the tears that fell.

Sean dropped his bags slowly, eyeing Emma deeply and glanced slowly at the door before taking foot steps closer and closer to Emma.

Emma sucked in a shakey breath, seeing Sean coming up to her almost on prowl, such betrayl in his eyes, but also confusion, looking as if still trying to figure it out.

"Do you.." he drifts off, backing Emma against the wall with no where to do, Emma looked away from him and he grabbed her face, but gently, yet very sternly, "Do you and Jay have a _thing_?" he clenched his teeth when he said the last part, looking disgusting.

Emma sniffed but the tears kept pouring even as she shook her head no, Sean gazed down at her and her body, sadly. He loved her, didn't she see that? She was so damn beautiful, specially in just his shirt.

He ran his hands up her smooth legs, to between them, Emma gasped, "Good, cause you're mine." He confirmed, leaning his head down and kissing her neck, feeling her tense and swallow her cry down, "You're mine right Emma?" he pushed his fingers into her slowly and deeply.

Emma cried out and whimpered, she cracked out with sadness still in her voice, "Yes." She shut her eyes, and whimpered again as he sped up and then unzipped his hoody that was on her, baring her beautiful naked body.

He bent his head down and teased her breast, "Say it." He brushed his teeth passed her nipple and she winced but found herself moan, her body reacting to him even though she didn't want to.

"I'm yours." Emma said but sniffed again, tears still in her eyes and looking where Jay left as Sean took off his shirt and made her hold onto him, she kissed his muscled shoulder, her little hands on his strong arms, he always got this way now, possessive..needy, it scared the shit out of her.

Emma found herself being fucked on top of the coffee table from Sean. Never did she see herself losing her virginity to someone she wasn't inlove with, but also being treated like a slut and fucked when she didn't want to be, in the most disrespectful places, Emma swore they haven't even made love on a bed, not even just simply..made love.

"no, no!" Emma cried helplessly, putting her hands around Sean's wrist when his hand went to her throat, fucking her harder on the table and choked her a bit. He did this too now, and Emma tried to make him stop, and tears came to her eyes when she could hardly breath, but she felt herself still reacting to his pounding, it caused serious damage to her when he made her come this way. He bent his head near her neck.

"It's okay." He whispered and panted near her ear, "I'll save you. I love you."

Emma helplessly stared up at the ceiling, waiting for him to finish and then shut her eyes, screaming out exhaustingly and whimperly moaning, shaking, when she came. After this he would finally let go of her throat, pull out and pull her into his arms, carry her to his room and just lay there, making her hold him.

She laid there as he slept soundly, she couldn't do this anymore.. but she too scared to leave him, other than all this, he treated her well, sometimes had his breakdowns knowing what he did to her wasn't right but would keep doing it.

_**Cover up with make up in the mirror **_

_**Tell yourself it's never gonna happen again **_

_**You cry alone and then he swears he loves you  
Do you feel like a man, when you push her around? **_

_**Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?**_

Emma numbly walked to her locker, and Manny smiled going over to her, "Hey!" she chirply greeted and playfully hit her hip against Emma's.

Emma winced and felt the brusies on her hips from Sean and tried to hide the pain.

Manny gave an odd look, "You okay?" she asked and saw Emma's eyes flash almost, nerve wreckingly as she looked forward.

Manny looked and saw her looking at her locker, where Sean stood.

"I'll see you after class." Emma said, brushing her off and going over him. Manny gave an odd look, was she okay?

"By the way those hickeys are getting a little disturbing yeah love birds." Manny hollered jokingly but not even Sean cracked a smile.

She watched as he swung an arm around Emma's waist and brought her to class. Manny frowned. Emma didn't have class for another 15 minutes, what's the deal?

Emma sat in her math class and frowned, she didn't study.

This wasn't like her and she was staring down helplessly at the very first quiz she'd ever fail.

"Mrs Kwan." Emma raised her hand and the teacher nodded, "Can I got to the office? I don't feel good."

Mrs Kwan, knew it was fishy for a student to leave sick when in the middle of a test, but Emma was never sick, nor never ready for a test, so she nodded.

Emma bolted right out.

She didn't call home, she just sat in the office against one of the chairs on the wall as the secatary went through files.

"Sorry Hogart, you know the drill, you do some skipping, you'll do the time." Came Raditch's taunting voice and Emma's heart started to pound hard.

Jay entered and his eyes fell right onto Emma and she avoided his eyes, looking to the other side of the wall instead of the entrance.

"Sit." Raditch ordered and Jay knew better than to fight with him on it, but when he sat next to Emma he made sure to lean the other way.

Raditch went to his office and closed the door as the old woman at her desk looked at Emma, "You sure you don't wanna call home sweetie?"

Jay narrowed his eyes at Emma, watching her muster the sweetest softest smile she could, shaking her head slowly. When she turned her head, that's when he saw all the hickey marks from Sean. It made Jay's skin crawl. Emma's body yes, should be admired and kissed all over, but not marked like THAT, that was just too much, almost as if Sean did it on purpose to show she was taken.

And Jay knew Emma, she was the kind of girl that didn't like that sort of thing being shown. So what the hell?

The old woman did a small pee pee dance and ran out of the room leaving them alone.

Jay couldn't help but wonder and ask out loud, "What's wrong?"

Emma snapped, "Nothing's wrong!" she glared at him, "Why do people keep asking me what's wrong?"

"You're in the school office with the school nurse.." drifted Jay and Emma's face dropped, oh. Right.

Jay eyed her closely, she looked so tired.

"You want me to drive you home?" he asked carefully.

Emma started to laugh and then tried to stop, but a smile cracked through, she then gave an outrageous look, but it was for herself..she really was losing it.

"No." She simply answered, still trying not to smile. God, that was the last thing she could let him do, Sean would seriously probably punch her in the face with his anger issue and jealousy between her and Jay.

Jay watched her like she was insane as she got up, "Going to crazy town?" he taunted and she gave him an evil eye.

"I feel better now." Emma simply stated with a shrug and walked off. Jay sat there and looked down, his eyebrows smushing together as he tried to think hard about what possibly could be bugging her.

She was acting so wierd.

GYM CLASS.

Manny finally had time alone with Emma and she walked right to her while Emma put on her usual uniform, yellow shorts and white tank top.

"Are you okay?" Manny carefully asked, looking worried.

Emma gave her a silly look, "Yeah." She laughed it off and bent her leg up on the bench to tie her shoes.

That's when Manny saw it, bruises of finger prints on her best friends thighs, Manny wasn't one to point fingures, but we all knew who had the anger problem here.

"Sean being a little _rough_ with you Emma?" Manny bittered out madly, putting her hands on her hips.

Emma's eyes widened and Manny raised an eyebrow looking at her legs and Emma looked down and sat down quickly, trying to hide them.

"We.." she tried to come up with an excuse, looking up at Manny embarrassed, "I gave my v card away to him alright?"

"Am I suppose to believe that leaves you marks on your legs?" Manny pointed her as some girls came into the changeroom, "Miss Slut here! I know these things! That's too rough!" she pointed madly at Emma's whose eyes widened in horror when the girls looked over

But they Manny the wierd look for calling herself a slut.

Manny rolled her eyes looking over her shoulder, "Can't you see we're talking!?" she exclaimed.

The girls huffed but turned, and left.

Emma sighed, "Manny.." she slowly said, standing up, "There is nothing wrong okay?"

Manny's response had Emma taken back, "You think I'm stupid?" Manny asked her, looking so upset, "You don't think I come from a home where my Dad pushes me around? Calls me names?"

Emma looked down painfully, knowing Manny went through that, and hated lying to her.

"Manny, Sean loves me." Emma insisted her to her and Manny tried to keep her game face on, "Yeah he get's too rough but doesn't mean he abuses me." Emma laughed a bit nervously.

Manny whispered back, "Yeah, and I say when my Dad hurts me, it's because he cares." With that, she gave Emma a hurtful look and left, not believing her best friend was lying to her.

Emma stood there, numb, until she bursted into tears.

"She doesn't look happy." Jay said, sitting at the Dot with Spinner as usual, talking to him about Emma.

Spinner scoffed shaking his head, "She made her choice Jay, you gotta finally accept it." He said. It was odd, Spinner thought Jay would get over this in a day or a few weeks but it's been months now.

Jay glared up at him from his stool and insisted with a dark look in his eyes, "I don't mind she picked Sean." He cringed and scoffed, "Fine, I do, but I'm not making this up in my head, I have this weird feeling when I'm around her, like I know she's not happy and she's even trying, in her own way, to tell me. I'm not saying she's not happy with Sean I'm just saying something's making her sad."

Spinner saw that idea look appear into Jay's eye and warned, "STAY away from Her."

"I can't, I can't." Jay said helpessly, shrugging like there was no other choice and madly tried to explain, "I want her to so bad it's _killing _me. I want to help her."

That's when the Dot's door opened and it came Manny, they both turned when they heard her come in, oh wierd coincidence. Jay gave an odd look when Manny kept looking at him a little helplessly.

The two sat in a booth now together as Manny sucked in a breath and ran a nervous hand through her hair, "I need you to stop staring at me like that" Manny informed.

Jay kept giving her strange looks, "Well I don't get why you need to talk to me."

"It's about Emma." Manny said

Jay softened but then snickered, "Why would I care?" he asked, eyeing Manny. Did Emma ever tell her the stuff that went on between him and her?

Manny looked at him sadly, "I know you're Sean's best friend." As she said this Jay tried not to laugh, "But I need you to understand my view on it, for Emma's sake."

Jay got serious, what was this about?

"I can't go to her parents." Manny declared, "They'll freak, and it might not be as bad as I think but there are bruises on her." She looked like she was about to be sick.

Jay sat up slowly and stared closely at Manny, "Brusies.. on Emma?" he blinked and tried to pretend to be the old Jay, "On Greenpeace?" he corrected himself.

Manny nodded and explained, "the only other toughest guy in Degrassi is you, but I can't exactly order you to smack your friend around." She joked but kind of meant it, "But please talk to Sean, see if he'll confess to it, make him _stop_. She's been through enough."

Silence.

"Jay are you okay?" Manny watched him almost shake with anger, his eyes stone cold and looking around impatiently, as if REALLY trying to calm down.

Spinner was eavesdropping on this and jumped when Jay got up and bolted out, Spinner tried to grab him as Manny's mouth dropped, wondering where this madness came from.

"Don't get involved!" Spinner yelled at Jay but Jay shoved him back hard and slammed the door open, leaving.

Manny got up and stood behind Spinner who balanced himself up, "What was that about?" she asked.

_**Hey girl, you know, you drive me crazy  
**____**One look puts the rhythm in my hand**__**  
**__**Still I'll never understand why you hang around  
**____**I see what's goin' down**_

Sean was in auto class, in the garage which was also near the back of the schools parking, and Jay's orange civic came speeding over and Sean looked up, watching him break madly and get out of the car like on a mission.

"What's the rush?" Sean joked, looking down at the engine he was working on as Jay went infront of him.

Jay got right to it, "You hurting Emma?"

Sean stopped focusing on the engine and instead, stared numbly at it until laughing softly, "What?" he asked like Jay was crazy.

Jay grabbed Sean's shirt and turned him roughly and up against the car he worked on. Sean was shocked at first but madly struggled and shoved Jay off of it, Jay shoved him back against the car and punched him once.

"Hey hey!" the auto teacher came running over, students staring. This was dangerous, the two bad boys of the school in a fight?

Sean, amused, and pissed off, whiped his lip, Jay got him good right in the jaw. Sean saw the blood on his hand and looked at it. Jay was a bit shocked he did that too but he was crazy for this girl, he was going to leave her be with Sean if that's what she truly wanted but for Sean to hurt something so little and innocent? So beautiful?

He didn't deserve her!

Sean whiped the blood on his hand on the shirt and looked like he was about to turn away until he turned back and swung his fist at Jay, Jay tried to retreat but Sean grabbed him right after and charged him into the wall from behind and punched Jay in the stomach.

As Jay leaned over to clench his stomach, Sean hit his elbow hard down on Jay's back and Jay landed down a bit on one knee, cringing in pain. Sean spat blood onto the ground that was still coming from his mouth as he growled at Jay, "Don't mess with me." He breathed heavily.

HE turned, thinking Jay would give up, as if Jay could care about Emma, Sean thought, sure Jay probably thought she was a nice peice of ass, but this was probably the furthest he'd go to get it. Yet, Jay shocked him, and grabbed him again, turning him around quickly as his other arm raised and his fist hit the other side of Sean's cheek.

"Call the principle!" yelled the teacher, some student ran.

Sean fell back into the car he stood by and groaned but pushed himself off it as Jay got ready for him and they both glared madly at another, "You jealous or something?" Sean asked and laughed bitterly.

Jay shook his head at him, "No." He said, breathless from the fight and blows. He smirked a bit and Sean glared.

What the hell was he smiling about?

"Cause I just figured something out." He declared.

Sean gave a wierd look, "Yeah? What's that?"

"She doesn't love you, she's afraid of you." snapped Jay viciously and even though he made Sean's very own jaw bleed, it was his words that just hit him hard.

Jay snickered again, walking by Sean and knocked his tool box table over, and left. Sean snickered shaking his head, always had to be an asshole. He then looked a bit lost. Jay was right.


	7. You Know It Will Always Just Be, Me

Emma had been waiting for Sean to come back to his apartment, true she had her own home but he always seemed to want her over right after school anyways, she quickly got up from the couch as the door opened.

Sean came in, dragging himself looking like a zombie. Emma tilted her head, this wasn't like him. Then she noticed it, tears in his eyes. She stood up and stood infront of him, and he fell to his knees infront.

Emma didn't understand but as he looked up at her, he looked... broken, hurt, a bruised face and split lip, he also looked sad, and he was even crying harder and bowed his head back down, putting his arms around her waist and she stood there, a tear sliding down her cheek.

Did Manny say something? Who hurt Sean?

They quietly sat on the couch, Sean sadly watching Emma looking tense as she sat beside him, he put his head into his hands and took in a shakey breath.

He choked on a cry as he looked back up and looked at Emma so painfully, "I never wanted to do this to you," he tilted his head sadly, hoping she knew that, "I feel like I'm so far gone, I feel like I'm so deep in depression, I'm losing my own fucking sanity."

Silence.

Emma swallowed hard. He's said sorry to her over and over, but not ever like this.

He sniffed and tried to wipe his eyes and nose, "I came here thinking I was still in love with you." he breathed in deep and exhaled shakingly, "And I'm crazy for not feeling it anymore." He stared at Emma with such adoration, "You're so beautiful... but I'm so bad for you, and you're so bad for me, it was a mistake to come back. I realize now it's a sick love."

Emma let a sigh of relief out, like a breath she's been holding for months, and she bursted into tears too of sadness and happiness, glad he understood that now too, and Sean broke down, seeing her look like this.

Sean told her, "You're the strongest person I know and I thought you'd make me strong again and I just broke you down." He stared down so madly, "Because that's what I do. " he said angirily.

Emma sadly looked at him and put her hand slowly onto his, he yanked his hand away, like she was fire.

"You shouldn't touch me, I'm sick. Or forgive me!" He said madly at her, tears running down, "You should HATE me, hurt me back." He begged.

Emma shook her head no.

"Why?" Sean cried so hard that he broke down again, putting his head back into his hands.

Emma scooted closer to him and put her hand on his head, running her fingers through his hair, "Cause you're still my friend.." she admitted, "One of my close ones.. and you're right, we do have a sick love.. because we're not meant to be together, we aren't in love like that." She stared off, "You don't make me feel good anymore, and you never made my heart skip a beat.." she drifted off sadly, thinking of Jay, "You don't make me happy, don't make me laugh.."

Sean looked back up and looked at her desperately, "I want you to be with someone who can do that." He sniffed and nodded frantically, "You deserve that, a-and I'll leave Degrassi again. Forever! .. I'm better off."

Emma nodded slowly, sadly smiling, "You are." She admitted.

"What happened to us?" Sean asked her so lifelessly.

Emma was taken back for a moment and softened, "With Rick, we almost died..and I think we felt dead afterwards because personally.. I wished I was after going through something like that, I knew the nightmares would come, and they did." Emma stared off, "and maybe we thought only another would understand?" she guessed, "But it just made us worse, drowning in anothers pain."

Silence

Sean swallowed hard, "Do you love Jay?" he asked out of nowher, even her eyes widened.

"Where'd that come from?" she panicked, "Was-was he the one who hurt you?"

"I damn well deserved it." Sean breathed and looked down, "What happened between you two? I don't deserve the truth.. I'm just curious."

Emma stayed quiet, she couldn't deny it anymore, her heart was growing back to life and racing with those butterflies in her stomach, knowing what Jay did, for her.

"We just kissed..once or twice." Emma admitted.

After a moment, Sean started to sadly smile, that crept into a grin and he softly started laughing and Emma raised an impressed eyebrow.

"That's it?" Sean asked her, looking at her with a grin, "One kiss and you got him?" he then nodded, "well, that actually sounds familiar." He admitted, remembering when Emma had him by one kiss.

She was an amazing girl.

But Jay? Jay..Hogart?! At this age?

Emma had to admit, it was kind of funny, she smiled and shook her head.

Jay that night was sitting in his lonely apartment, eyes on the ground and sitting on the couch while his windows softly flicked by the rain outside, it was dark now, so he had one lamp out, a bit dim but what did it matter.

Jay sighed, leaning back on his couch now and looked up, he had a confession, which was obvious but.. he had been trying to deny it for a few weeks.. he cannot, for the life of him, fall out of love with Emma Nelson.

She really got him bad. For being a guy who didn't ever believe in love, was now going crazy for it, to receive it back from one certain girl.. who wouldn't..and now it seemed his punishment of not believing in it, was not getting it back from her.

His door knocked and he sighed and getting up and cringed, holding his side a bit, Sean punched him good in the stomach.

He opened the door swiftly, expecting Spin or someone but Spinner wouldn't of lept on him and kiss him, nor have that vanilla scent he craved for. Jay sighed into the kiss and closed his eyes tight, he couldn't believe this was happening, god he missed her, he kissing her just as deeply back, holding her even tighter to him as he wrapped his arms around her waist tightly.

_**I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck  
Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me  
Girl I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of  
Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat?  
No, no, no, you know it will always just be me**_

Jay and Emma crashed against his bedroom door, where he tried to keep carrying her but she yelped when he almost dropped her by how eager they were to get in there. He stiffed a laugh between the kiss and cupped her face as she moved backwards towards his bed.

"Shut up." She mumbled against the kiss but smiled against his lips and then went serious as he helped her move back slowly on the bed, passionately looking into her eyes til she rested back on the pillows and slowly slid her hands up his stomach to his shoulders.

"Admit it." He whispered huskily in her ear, moving his hand over her stomach to her waist, moving his hand up her shirt to her bare skin and she bit her lip in want and need when his finger tips brushed softly over her sides and ribs, he looked down at her lovingly.

"I'm.." she leaned up and giggled softly when he wouldn't let her kiss him. She stared up at him seriously and adoringly, "in love with you."

Jay stopped.

He didn't expect that, he just wanted her to admit there was something there, but..that? Was even better to hear. His heart exploded and he leaned down capturing her lips with his own and they breathed hard every now and then between the kiss, pressing their bodies into anothers, moaning and Emma started begging.

_**Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster  
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,  
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?  
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,  
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?**_

"Not tonight." Jay whispered in her ear and she made a pouting noise, her lips still gracing over his neck and he smirked laying on his back beside her and she narrowed her eyes at him like it wasn't fair.

"Why'd you bring me in here then?" she taunted, raising an eyebrow as she laid up on her elbows turning her head to look at him.

He raised an eyebrow back, "You were the one trying to seduce me and get me in here." He teased, "I just agreed to get to the bed because I'm tired." He informed and grabbed her closer to him, making her cuddle into him, her head on his chest as she grumbled.

She went to raise her hand to his stomach, and slowly slid it lower toward his pants and he grabbed her hand, giving her a look.

"You've turned into quite the sex monkey." He taunted.

She got a little angry at that, "You've turned into quite the prude." She taunted back and he just smirked.

"Guess we switched roles then." He said looking down at her as she raised her head.

"You could atleast meet me halfway." She pleaded, crawling up a bit and went onto his lap, sitting up on her knees and lowered her body down when he played with her hair, she laid her forehead against his.

"No." He firmly said and she looked away from him, about to get off but he held her head down to him though and explained, "No, because I know you slept with _him_ out of pain." He knowingly said and now she really wanted to get off him and he grabbed her wrists, moving her back down to him, he looked her in the eye, "And I don't want you thinking that's when you should be sleeping with me. I want our time to be because we're happy." He whispered, feeling her untense and let go of her hands.

She leaned her hands on his chest, still sitting on his lap as he laid under. She watched him for a second and admitted, "I am happy now." She had the greatest, strongest guy to herself...all, to herself!

Jay laid up on his elbows and sat up a bit, her still on him, "I can't do it now.. I just want to hold you.." his eyes trailed off to her thighs, small bruises over it, "fuck Emma you still have his marks on you." he said sadly and he closed his eyes huffing, "It's not I don't _want _you. trust me, believe me, when I finally admitted to myself I'm crazy for you, 50% of the time I was thinking about fucking you senseless on any wall, or floor, even in the library when we were alone.." he swallowed hard looking down," and then the other 50%, I was thinking about just making love to you.. didn't matter about doing it for me, I wanted to hear your breathing, your pleading."

Emma watched him with tears in her eyes. How did she NOT know Jay was the one for her?

She leaned down and happily crashed her lips to his, and he winced from his bruised stomach but still took her in his arms.

_**So I guess we're back to us, oh cameraman, swing the focus  
In case I lost my train of thought, where was it that we last left off?  
(Let's pick up, pick up)**_

(lying is the most fun-panic at the disco)


	8. Closure & New Beginnings

Emma stared at herself in the mirror, wearing a skirt and black tank top, she couldn't even wear a skirt yet.. those old bruises still showing.

It's been a week, least they were a little shade of pink, they'd go away soon, and Sean was being true to his word, everyone in Degrassi knew he had dropped out, but didn't know why.

Emma sighed, changing into fashionably ripped up jeans. Good enough! She grabbed her black leather jacket and went down her stairs.

It was beginning to turn into fall, and as she stepped out of her house leaves were falling which was nice to gawk at, but the orange civic sitting in her drive way amused her more.

Emma went to the drivers side where Jay sat with the window down having a smoke and he smirked up at her, but she couldn't see his eyes, unfortunately, with his sunglasses on.

"You're really going to drive me to school..every day?" Emma asked, he's been doing it since Monday.

"There and back." He taunted, exhaling his smoke though his grin.

Emma wasn't one for smoking, but god he made it look hot. God, he was totally warping her mind already! She joked inside her head.

She insisted, "I can honestly walk, on my own.. I've been doing it for years." She teased.

"I'm liking this leather on you." he said, ignoring her pleas and she couldn't see his eyes but knew it was traveling around her body, that smirk still on his face.

Emma rolled her eyes to then find some girls from school passing, and they eyed Emma, glancing back and forth at her and Jay's famously known car..probably wondering what the hell he was doing park in HER drive way.

Jay looked in his rear view mirror and turned his head back to Emma with more of a taunting smirk. Wow, how many styles did that smirk of his have?

"Are we still be sneaky? Do I have to pick you up at the corner?" he joked.

Emma laughed slightly and walked on over to his other side, getting into his car. It's not like she was ashamed of being with him, it's the fact no one would see it coming, and it'd be a shock, it was for her too! Plus, she got got out of a relationship with Sean, she didn't want people thinking she was some man eater.

As she sat there, he didn't start the car, but had his hands on his wheel, staring forward. Emma gave a wierd look.

"Are we going?" she teased, shaking her head.

He shrugged, "I can't start the car until you pay the toll." He paused, and tilted his head to right a bit.

Emma rolled her eyes but she blushed madly as she smiled, leaning over and went to kiss his cheek, she pecked it and went to move back in her seat until he turned and cupped her face, kissing her deeply.

Emma melted into it and let him move her back over to him, and then even on him.

She kissed him just as back hard and after a few moments, she was panting with him, still not wanting to pull away either.

"Ok, ok, ok." She breathed madly, pulling away.

Jay grinned ridicously to how obvious she looked, puffy lips, a bit of messed of hair and that daze look in her eye. He wondered if he had something like that after she kissed him, probably!

Emma got off and giggled, "We need to go to school, you weirdo."

He started the car and taunted her back, "_You're _the weirdo."

When they got to Degrassi, they got out and some people looked at them the way they had been since Monday, wondering if these two were _friends _now. It was kind of wierd to see.. and two people as good looking as they were? There HAD to be something.

"Are we allowed to hold hands?" taunted Jay to Emma.

Emma gave him a look, "_Jay Hogart __**wants **_ to hold hands?" she teased him oh so badly.

He shook his head smirking, feeling a bit bashful but wouldn't let it be seen as he grabbed her into him playfully, hugging her into his arms.

That's when **everyone **stared.

Emma laughed softly, happily, liking the feeling of being in his arms and pouted when he let go, walking ahead and holding her hand.

She started being the one walking ahead and holding his hand until he stopped and grabbed her hand tighter, pulling her back.

She turned confused and looked around, "What?" she asked and saw him glaring hard over her shoulder.

She turned and saw, Sean. He leaned on his car, looking at them a bit sadly. She nervously thought about it, and let go of Jay's hand but he didn't of hers, and held hers tighter when she did that.

"I need to talk to him one more time." Emma said pleadingly to Jay.

Jay finnaly looked from glaring at Sean to sadly down at Emma, "You **don't **need to talk to him Emma. You don't owe him shit."

"You were mean to me once upon too." Emma reminded.

Jay's mouth fell and then he actually looked pissed, he yelled ather, "That was harmless teasing, aka flirting Emma! I didn't phycisally hurt you, abuse you."

Emma looked away from him and whispered, "It wasn't like that, it was only when.."

"Only when what?" Jay snapped, confused, there was a certain time? When? Lunch? Dinner? He watched Emma and then felt sick when she wouldn't look into his eyes, looking a bit.. embarrassed. "When.. right." He drifted off, a sick look in his eye.. Sean was only rough to Emma during sex.

"Jay!" Emma called out to him when he stormed off. She sadly crossed her arms and tried to fight back her tears, holding herself.

Sean slowly came up from behind her and she took a deep shakey breath turning more to him too.

"It's understandable he doesn't want you talking to me." Sean told her.

Emma looked away from him, "He didn't really know until now the type of abuse it was.." she said quietly.

Sean looked sick to his stomach, slowly nodding, "During-" ..sex.

"yes." Emma snapped her eyes on him, giving him a warning look not to say it, not to talk about it.

Sean looked down at the ground ever so tormentingly, "I shouldn't of done that too you, espashally your first time, the second.." he drifted off, a numb look glazing over his eyes as he remembered how many times he did it to her.

Emma looked the way Jay left, slowly nodded, "I just think he looks at it like rape..or something."

Sean looked horrified, and choked up, "I-It was. Kiinda." He looked like he was starting to cry and Emma looked sadly at him. I know it was hard to understand, Emma feeling bad for what he did to _her_, but she got it, he was in a dark place and even though it was hard to admit even deep down, Emma liked it now and then.. it helped her forget to think as well.

She would never ever admit to that though. It was done. Over. She was happy with Jay now and he would some day show her how it felt to have good sex. . to make..love. Was that what they called it?

Sean sucked in a breath, "I'm moving, and not to Wasaga. Far away. And I'm not telling you where nor am I ever going to call you out of the blue like I did before."

Emma stared at him, emotionless, but nodded slowly.

He nodded back and swallowed hard, going to walk around her and Emma bit her lip and turned around, "I'll miss you." she cracked out. Her and Sean had some kind of connection ever since she was 13, he was a dear..mad..but good friend. They both learned a lot with and from another.

Sean turned, shocked, but frowned deeply. "I'll miss you too." He softly said before smiling sadly a little and moved back to his car, getting in, and driving away..

Emma sadly watched him go but then felt a bit of rejoice in her heart, now actually feeling a good future for herself..with someone she truly loved, Jay.

She smiled softly, looking ever so peaceful and happy now, and went back into school.

When she got in, the bell had already rung and just a few students were going down the hall and she just passed the entrance.

"So how was it?" came Jay's voice and she stopped and turned, seeing him leaning on the wall of the entrance by the door and windows, probably stayed to keep an eye on her.

It made her heart melt.

She crossed her arms and walked back over to him, "Good. It was closure." She insisted.

Jay still looked bothered by the news she smacked on him moments ago, but tried to put in some effort and joked lightly, "You girls and closure."

"You guys and not caring." She teased as he went to her, still a bit sadly and put hands on her hips slowly, then firmly, gazing down at her protectingly.

"I care." He insisted and she looked up at him lovingly, he sighed, "Maybe too much, but I care Emma."

"Sometimes I miss the Greenpeace." She teased, putting her hands on his chest and sliding them down to his stomach as he held her and softly chukled.

"That's only now for when we're alone." He teased cheekily and they heard some giggles and then some gasps, and turned there heads.

Some girls holding their books passed, eyed them, and whispered to another leaving.

Emma laughed a little, "Look at them, they're so shocked." she decalred.

"I wonder if it's cause they know we're dating now.." drifts Jay, squinting his eyes, "Or they can't believe I'm not single."

He laughed when Emma pushed her hands against him, trying to get out of his arms and he grabbed her, turning her so her back was against stomach, her still struggling.

"That's what you get for going to Cameron." He teased in her ear.


	9. Sweet As Sin

That weekend Emma had pulled a 'I'm staying at Manny's house, to her mom, and she totatlly believed it. Honestly, Emma was at Jay's, and sat on his couch right in his arms.

She never thought she could feel as safe as she did just by being in his presence, but in his arms? Was a completely different thing.

_**You seem to good  
To good to be true  
I'm loving you longer  
Longer than I'm used to**_

Emma smiled a little softly feeling his arms tighten around her as she leaned her back against his stomach and it made her lean back a bit more, enough for his head to bend a bit and kiss her neck sweetly and quietly, as if he was playfully being sneaky about it.

_**Don't go out with the boys tonight  
I won't sleep a wink  
Wondering what you're doing**_

The moment was ruined when a buzz near Emma's leg vibrated, and she grabbed it for him, moment was even more ruined when he got a text from Alex.

It read..

_Need Ride 2 Amy's please, will give money or sexual favors. It's important._

Emma narrowed her eyes at him, annoyed and pissed off at that, but stayed calm as he saw that look, gave a look back and read it himself to then smirk.

Emma slapped and he laughed getting up, "She's just joking Em," he says, "We're only friends." Emma just kept watching the tv but not really, as she was cuddled up on his couch with a blanket.

Her arms crossed, looking mad.

_**don't go out with the girls tonight  
I will turn to drink  
Wondering what you're proving.**_

He saddened, putting his coat on, "Emma. It's nothing. I grew up on the same street slash trailer park as Alex, Amy and Towerz, we've just been friends since." He explained.

Emma then looked down a bit, she really didn't know much about Jay to be honest.

She looked back up a bit sadly, "You don't think it's okay for me to be a little wierded out your closest friends are girls? Ones a hoe and the other one is..well, Alex." She couldn't help but feel jealousy.

And Alex probably knew a lot more about Jay then Emma did. I mean, he lived in his own apartment now, from going from his trailer park home? Where was his parents now? Did he have siblings?

Jay agreed with Emma, "Alex is an asshole, but..so am I." Joked Jay leaning in and went to kiss her cheek, his chest stung when she leaned her head a bit to her side, not letting him and still looking at his TV.

"I have to pick them up." Jay said honestly, "They hang around the ravine, sketchy places.. Alex can take care of herself but I know she's out looking for Amy who can't. Their a package, and their my friends.. I gotta help them."

"A Package?" Emma repeated and snickered, "That's stupid."

Jay smirked, grabbing his keys, "Says the girl holding a cup right now as Manny drinks out of it with a second straw."

Next to Emma, came view of Manny, who has been there all along just eyes glued to the tv til she glanced over at Jay, then Emma.

"Are you saying me and Manny are a package deal?" Emma asked.

Jays smirked turned to a knowing devilish grin, "She IS always around.."

"Hey! I am sitting RIGHT here." Manny informed, sharing Emma's blanket with her.

"I'm just saying you should try to give them a chance." He informed and she still looked away when he bent down once more, but just kissed her head.

"Last year.." Manny drifts off with wide eyes, almost excited about it, "Emma punched Alex in the face."

"Oh yeah that's right." Jay breathed with a grin, walking to the door.

Emma gave him a look, "If dirty mud fights are going on in your head I'll break up with you." she hollered to him.

He raised an impressed eyebrow, and asked, "You're admitting infront of a friend that we're dating now?"

Emma shrugged with a smile tugging at her lips, Manny smiled rolling her eyes, as if it wasn't OBVIOUS.

Jay glashed one more grin when he caught Emma look back at him finally before he left and gave her a smart ass wink before leaving. Emma scoffed but giggled a little, Manny joining in.

_**Tug of war  
Sweet as sin  
I let go  
I fell in  
Feel the pull  
Call your name  
I'm alone  
Once again**_

"You guys are sickly in love." Manny teased but was pretty jealous and happy for Emma. Jay seemed damn right crazy for her.

Manny knew she saw something between that kiss with them.

"Wanna get back at him?" Manny playfully asked, lifting her bag up and gave a playful sneaky look, pulling out a Jack Daniels bottle.

Emma couldn't help but grin, rolling her eyes but took it. It was the weekend! And Jay just ditched her their first hangout, so why not?

The two ran to get some cups out of his cupboard.

Meanwhile, Jay went and grabbed Alex near the shopping Toronto mall. It was closed, so Jay was wondering what the hell she was doing here.

She got in and just stared forward.

"So?" Jay asked, giving her a look.

She scoffed and looked at him, "what?" she asked, looking out the window.

Jay's eyes nearly bugged out, "Lex! I _left _Emma for **this**, where do you need me to go to find Amy?" he asked.

Alex crossed her arms leaning back in his seat, "We're already here, she's in the movie theatre." She nodded to the theatre right in the mall, a group of people coming out, one of them being Amy with Towerz and Tyler, guys even Jay himself trusted, and a movie theatre? Not a place Amy could stir trouble.

"She's fine." Growled Jay, rubbing between his eyes with the feeling of being an idiot, getting to him.

Alex snapped at him, "No it's not fine, she's with _him_. She doesn't want him, she told me I was the only person in the world she could count on." She started to tear up, least Jay thought she did.

She looked like she did.

Jay's mouth fell, blinking and looking around, "Alex are you a-"

She angrily snapped at him, eyes blazing, "If you call me a lesbo-"

"I was going to say, attracted to Amy?" Jay insisted, eyeing Alex. Huh. This was new, yet not that all shocking, Alex was always with Amy and Alex always seemed to have Amy wrapped around her finger.

Alex sighed, shaking her head, "It came out of nowhere, I was mad you picked Cause Girl over me, then I began to think, I'm not jealous she got you, I'm jealous you got her."

Jay cracked a smile, "You have a thing for Emma?" he squinted his eyes, a bit grossed out he might have to compete for his own girl, with his ex girl friend.

Alex scoffed, "I have a thing for wanting my own girl." She corrected and thought about it, "Though I'd love to see how innocent Emma can pretend to be girl on girl." She smirked to Jay, knowing he would get jealous, and he did, glaring at her, she shook her head and admitted, "I want Amy only, and she's here, when she told me she was sick."

"Ok, you being a lesbian?" Jay says,"NOT that shocked, hust **PISSED**. Alex, I just said I l**eft** Emma for this! I thought Amy was getting fucked up and maybe overdosing somewhere like usual, fuck I should of listened to Em." He punched his steering wheel, not believing he left Emma for this, "Out!" he growled.

"If this was_ her_ out here with another guy, you would ask for back up too." Alex snickered bitterly at Jay, "You'd go haywire knowing Emma was with another guy."

Jay sighed, knowing the was true and eyed Amy outside the theatre with Tyler and Towerz, and started making out with Tyler..and.. for Amy being kind of a slut, she seemed sort of happy with the guy

Jay softened and looked at his friend, "Alex, if she's not gay, there's nothing else you can do, it's different." He nodded over to the scene and Alex painfully watched Amy make out with Tyler and looked away sadly.

"Take me home." She sniffed.

Jay sighed and shook his head, "you don't want to go home." He knew her too well, "You can come back to my place, crash on the couch, Manny's there too..and Emma."

"Great, I think I might pick my house over that any day." Alex said, but was surely joking, a small smile coming through as she looked at Jay.

Jay shook his head but smiled back, hoping this was a new Alex going to give those two a chance.

"besides," Alex purred, "Santos is hot."

Jay's front door closed and he led Alex in, giving a puzzeling look at the brunette and blonde giggling madly with another, Manny holding a Daniels bottle and Emma holding a red cup and could barely open her eyes as she laughed with her friend.

Jay rolled his eyes, they were drunk. He grabbed Emma's cup from her and she turned, shocked, didn't even notice him come in.

"Hey." Emma got up and turned to him, going to grab it, "That's.." her voice drifted off when she saw Alex, "Mine.." she gave Jay a look like this just wasn't going to work out. He was REALLY crossing the line tonight.

"I think someone needs bed." He teased Emma, putting his hands on her hips when she almost stumbled.

"You can't tell me what to do!" yelled Manny, turning her head from the couch to see them eye her weirdly, "Oh, her." Manny said, noticing Jay looking at Emma.

"Hmph, pathetic." Alex said loud and clear, crossing her arms, "I recall my first sip of booze.." she drifted off, eyeing Emma up and down, Emma knew Alex was thinking they were idiots.

Emma drunkenly snapped back, "I reclass my first punch to your face." From behind them, Manny's loud howling laughter started up, and Alex and Emma stayed glaring at another as Jay stood more between them, face turned toward Emma.

Jay tried not to grin, thinking Emma's reply was actually a pretty good shot, and it shut Alex up too, until Jay saw impressed look on Alex's face.

"Good one, got a bit of a mouth on you Nelson." Alex informed, eyeing Emma up again. Emma kept thinking it was looking at her like an idiot, but Jay knew what it was as he eyed Alex closely.

"well, you ask for it." Bittered Emma.

Alex smirked, tilting her head, "If I asked for your dirty mouth I'd ask for it when we're alone-"

"Ok, bed time!" Jay said, cutting Alex off. God fucking damn it! Alex WAS flirting with Emma and Emma was completely not noticing, "Goodnight." He tugged Emma away, keeping her to himself only.

Alex shrugged and went to the couch with Manny, "What are we watching?" she asked, taking the bottle of Jack.

Manny giggled, shrugging, curling back into the blankets, "I don't know, but it's funny, I think it's a Spanish soap opera."

Alex snickered, shaking her head and narrowed her eyes at Manny, before giving her back some of her Jack, sharing it.. Alex sharing something for once in her life.

Maybe she was changing!

"How was your night?" Manny asked, trying to make nice with the school girl bully.

"Admitted to the fact I'm a lesbian." Alex simply told the truth.

Manny raised an eyebrow and slurred, "That's extreme." She wiggled a little away from Alex who just rolled her eyes and shook her head smiling.

Meanwhile, Jay sat on the end of his bed, Emma passing by him as he grabbed her and laid down on his bed on his back, her on top of him trying to struggle out.

"I don't even want to sleep! And defiantly not with you." Emma childishly confirmed, wanting to have her sleepover with HER friend since Jay ditched her for HIS. She crawled off him and stubbornly curled into his blankets, back turned from him knowing he wouldn't let her go.

"Don't want to sleep with me physically or..physically?" Jay teased, thinking about sex or slumber and what one she meant, but just teasing and knowing she meant slumber.

When he turned his head he moved closer to her, and brought her into his arms to hear light breathing and smirked, she was already out like a light. Such a lightweight, he softly kissed the back of her head and held her tighter before closing his own eyes and fell to sleep, dreaming of her, with her.

_**Tug of war (Don't go out with the boys tonight)  
Sweet as sin (You seem too good)  
I let go (Too good to be true)  
I fell in  
Feel the pull (Don't go out with the girls tonight) (You seem too good)  
Call your name (I will turn to drink)  
I'm alone  
Once again (Too good to be true)**_


	10. Wild Cat

Manny woke up and groaned with a headahce. She was still on Jay Hogarts couch and the first thing she saw was that Daniels bottle.

Then she saw Alex passed out beside her on the big couch, cuddled in the blanket. Woah, the two actually had a sleepover

Manny went to get up to get ready to then squeel a bit, holding the blanket around her chest tighter.

She was naked

Oh my...god. She looked back at Alex and down at herself, trying to remember last night. Nothing came to her. She squeeked again and Alex sturred, waking up.

"Morning wildcat." alex practically purred, wrapping an arm around Manny's waist.

Manny's eyes widened, "A-Alex, what did I do last night?" she asked her. I mean, she's kissed girls at party but never woken up naked with one...least of all ALEX! The bully of Degrassi.

Alex sat up beside her with a smirk, "Other than me? Well.." she slowly slid her finger down Manny's neck and arm, "I did you a bit.."

Manny tried not to tinger and shiver by Alex's touch, and the memory hit her hard.

FLASHBACK:

_"So what's it like being a lesbo?" Manny curiously asked beside Alex, putting the Jack Daniels on the ground._

_Alex raised an eyebrow, checking Manny out and then asked, "Ever kiss a girl before?"_

_"Yeah." snorted Manny. Who hadn't? Alex bit her lower lip at that though.. Manny was so fiesty, sexy, hot._

_Alex playfully taunted, "Doubt it." she watched Manny's mouth fall. God how bad she wanted to kiss those lips._

_Manny shot back, "Do you not know my repuation?"_

_"Proof it Santos." Alex said rolling her eyes and then her eyes widened when Manny pinned her down, lying under her and Alex instantly got horny._

_"Fine." Manny declared, raising an eyebrow and leaned down kissing Alex hard. It shocked the both of them, Manny really liked kissing her and deepend it and Alex moaned into the kiss, hotly kissing her more and sliding her tounge against hers as Manny whimpered when Alex's hand slid up her skirt, rubbing her heatness._

_They pulled away breathless but still close as Alex rubbed a bit harder, "Ever fuck a girl before?" she breathed and Manny whimpered, rocking her hips into Alex's hand._

_Alex threw Manny down now and kissed down her neck, still rubbing and Manny was so wet, grinding her hips into Alex's hand harder._

_"Please." Manny begged, she's been with so many guys but Alex was an angel, knew every spot to hit and rub. Manny yelped and moaned when Alex slapped her thigh._

_"No begging." Alex teased with a smirk, roaming her hands up Manny's hip, rolling her shirt up and kissed down her stomach._

_Manny arched back and Alex slid Manny's panties down, skirt up. Manny felt it, Alex's tounge slide right into her folds and she cried out pleasurably, "Alex, please, please, oh god." she panted and Alex flipped her long brown hair to the side, sucking harder._

_Manny was coming hard and she gripped Alex's hair tight, "No coming." Alex order and Manny pouted and whimpered but squeeled when she came, bucking her hips up until she collapsed and looked up hungerily at Alex._

_Alex gave her a warning glare, "Told you not to come.. not you're about to get punished my little wildcat." she teased and Manny squeeled but giggled when Alex turned her onto her stomach and smacked her ass playfully._

END OF FLASHBACK.

Manny couldn't help it, she bit down on her lower lip and looked down at Alex's hand that was still on her arm.

Alex dove in when she saw the hunger back in Manny's eyes and she crashed her lips to hers and Manny did so back, and this time, Manny brought her hand to Alex's wetness and rubbed deep circles as Alex pushed her head back, moaning out.

Meanwhile, as Emma got ready for the day, she tried to stay mad at Jay as she combed her hair in his mirror.

"stop." she pouted childishly when his hands went on her arms, kissing her neck.

She bit her lip but tried to wiggle away, and then started to giggle when he kissed down the back of her neck and spine, making her shiver.

He pulled her into his arms from behind and stared at her beautiful face in the mirror, "Not so mad anymore, Greenpeace?" he teased with that smirk.

Emma's knees went weak, watching him watch her so adoringly. She turned and answered him by kissing him deeply.

They pulled away breathless, her finger tips on his jaw line making him surrender at her touch.

He slowly opened his eyes and grinned, "that a no then?" they both smiled at another and he grabbed her hand, leading her out.

Emma screamed and turned, hiding her face into his chest as his mouth dropped after they opened the door to see what was going on.

Alex and Manny were thankfully dressed, with well, jeans on and bras.. and they made out pretty hot and heavy on the couch until she broke apart and Manny went solid red.

Alex smirked as she saw then then looked at Jay who put his hand on the back of Emma's head who was probably scared from seeing that.

Jay gave Alex a glare but Alex shrugged with that smirk, Manny was a 10, and she wasn't going to let this girl go. Way better than Amy.

Manny squeeked, "Oh god." she shut her eyes in such embarressement, but she also wouldn't ever regret what happened with Alex for the world...and she didn't think she was going to stop either.

When school started, Emma found herself at her locker alone and heard Manny calling her.

Oh god

Emma tried to walk away but Manny caught up to her and stopped her.

"Emma, it was just some girl on girl..why do you have to judge?" Manny asked her, shocked Emma would be so nonunderstanding.

Emma's mouth fell, "I'm not juding!" she huffed, "I'm shocked yes, but even more in shock with ALEX!?"

Manny smiled to herself, shocked as well, "Em, she's so..exciting to me." she blushed a bit, "Looks at me like she REALLY wants me too. No other guy has treated me like that. No other guy has ever made me feel the way she did either."

"You had one wild night." Emma said while rolling her eyes.

"and I don't want to stop." admitted Manny and she shrugged, "I understand how you could fall for Jay, can't you understand why I'd fall for Alex? They are almost the same, only maybe.. I prefer a girl."

"You really would?" Emma asked, curiously and seriously.

Manny nodded and said, "Em when I gave it some thought.. I've always been jealous of other girls and now I notice, it's cause I was attracted to them...not the guys they were with."

"are you saying you actually had a crush on Ashley Kerwin and Paige Michealchuck?" smirked Emma.

Manny laughed and rolled her eyes, "Okay maybe not Ashley but maybe possibly Paige."

Emma's eyes widened, this was all too much for one day.

Manny laughed chasing after her best friend again, "She use to be so hot when we got into fights."

Emma shook her head smiling.


	11. I love You

Emma and Jay laid on his bed that following week, and they cuddled face to face as Emma kissed him deeper than he kissed her. He smirked against the kiss, knowing what she was doing when her hands went down his stomach, towards his jean buckles...and that was it.

Jay grabbed her hand and when she opened her eyes and stopped kissing him, he was already giving her that warning look.

"Jay." she pouted.

"What'd I say before?" Jay reminded about the no sex until truly just happy.

Emma shook her head insanely at him and rolled her eyes, "That you've gone gay." she teased but cracked a smile

He grinned, shaking his head back at her and sighed getting up

She thought this was easy for him? Tell it to the cold shower he was about to go have.

"Even Alex and Manny did it the other day" Emma informed before he went into his bathroom

"OH emma." he cringed, not wanting to hear that.

Emma watched him shut the door and sighed, falling back onto his bed. She bit her lip and sadly her eyes wondered around the room. Did he not want her as bad anymore?

"Hey guys!" Spinner cheered when they arrived the beach

Everyone was having a beach day, and Emma wore a white bikini. Her tan glowed and well, so did her chest as even Spinner stared down at it.

Jay hit him in the back of the head.

Emma sat down next to Alex and Manny who greeted her, and Emma took notice Manny slipped her hand into Alex's. Emma hid her smile.

"Guys this is Jane." introduced Spinner by the grill, making hot dogs. A punk girl stood close and smiled awkardly.

"Is that a blush?" taunted Jay to Spinner as Jane went to go sit next to the girls.

Spinner rolled his eyes to Jay, "I'm not the only one who can blush at the mention of a girl." he eyed Jay, "Emma."

Jay just grinned, looking down as he cracked his beer, "I love Emma, but I'm not gay and blush when I hear her name."

More like wasps in his stomach, stinging him if someone said her name and she wasn't there. Then butterflies in his stomach when she was.

Ok, that was pretty gay.

"You love her huh?" Spinner repeated.

Jay went to sip his drink and abruptly stopped. He said that out loud and proud didn't he?

He narrowed his eyes to the girls sitting in the sand, the girls were all laughing as Emma tanned with them, lying back, and she was giggling too.

She stood out so much to him. Three other girls in bikinis, and one with a reputation who supposedly had a nice rack, yet Jay Hogart was smitten with the blonde and couldn't take his eyes off.

Without answered Spinner, Jay went and sat with Emma, sitting behind her and pulling her up in his arms, between his legs.

Emma rested her head against his chest and he kissed the top of her head.

The sun was going down soon enough and Alex and Manny waved to them first, taking off. And as Spinner and Jane were packing up to leave, Jay and Emma stayed on the beach, still in the postition.

Emma listened to the water of the waves crashing, and the birds quietly chirping in the distance, flying around the lake. It was beautiful.

She felt beautiful.

And happy.

Jay's hands were in hers and she held them more tighter. She never wanted him to go. She wanted this forever.

Who knew she'd be so perfect with Jay freaking Hogart.

"I love you." he whispered, carressing her hair and she melted under his chest, her heart skipping. She was in shock and didn't even know what to say.

Jay Hogart just said he loved her?

Never stopped shocking her..

"You alive?" he teased but was nervous, heart pounding. Did she love him back?

"I love you too." she confessed, turning her head to look up as he nodded back at her slowly and leaned down, kissing her forehead. She smirked and leaned back against him, "Who knew you could say that."

"I'm not totally emotionless." he taunted.

She giggled and shrugged, "just didn't know if you'd ever say it."

"You wondered?" Jay asked. Jesus, he did so much to get her attention and she was really clueless?

Emma playfully elbowed his stomach and then got up. She grabbed her towel and taunted, "This where you finally take me home?"

"Oh I'll take you home Emma Nelson." Jay informed with a smirk down at her as he stood with her.

She wrapped her arms around his waist happily as he smiled down at her, cupping her face.

"We got a lot of _stuff_ to catch up on." he joked, gazing down at her bikini. She had no idea how rough this has been for him. It was about to get very frisky since now, they really were happy.

Emma laughed and squeeled when he grabbed her, directing her back to his car.

"You okay?" Jay whispered now, guiding over Emma in his bed as her legs were wrapped around him, her fists clenching around his bed sheets.

Emma opened her eyes, panting lowly but nodded. She was still getting use to his size.

Jesus he felt so good, "Faster?" she pleaded with a moan, begged really, and it made Jay growl, doing so just a little faster to tease and she whimped. He put his hand down and rubbed her as he thrusted into her, and kissed hungerily around her chest.

Emma gasped and clenched her eyes shut again, wrapping her arms around his neck.

He slid in and out and she was so tight around him, her heart pounded and she slowly felt the explosion coming, slowly because he was making love to her, not just fucking her.

This was going to be an intense orgasm.

And just as she thought, Emma cried out, arching back and then up, and doing it again one more time as she thrashed under him.

"JAY!"

His mouth dropped in pleasure as he jerked into her a few more times finishing his load and collapsed..sweating and panting

That...was the best either had had.

"Worth the wait?" Jay teased, turning his head at Emma who was still trying to catch her breath and still tingly.

Emma exhaustingly nodded and he laughed a bit, sliding his hand to the side of her face as he lied on his side.

Emma looked up at him softly and lovingly, "Love you." she quietly said again, just so he knew.

But he knew.

"Love you more, Em." he confirmed, leaning in and softly kissed her.

Emma kissed him back and the story ends, with a passionate long kiss neither of them wanted to end.


End file.
